I have just realised that for the last couple of weeks I have been getting irratible and less focused, finding it more difficult to stick to my daily tasks and routine etc.
It has only just dawned on me the reason why.
I am frustrated at the world and myself!
I am frustrated at the world because, although life is generally going okay for me and have gained in confidence at social interaction, people still baffle me and do or say things I really find hard to understand and either upsets or annoys me.
Yet I am frustrated at myself for not being able to fully grasp how to build and keep relationships with anyone.
I am torn between wanting to participate in the world around me and just becoming a hermit and hiding away from it.
I know much of it stems from my trouble in bonding with more than one person at a time as I tend to become attached to someone very easily, even if I don't know them too well. But it is such a drain to constantly feel like I am hitting a brick wall or missing something that everyone else knows.
I know this frustration will pass, but it is something that genuinely keeps me up at night as I attempt to work out why a certain person may say or do the things they do and how I should respond, etc, etc.
All I would like is a friend, yet this at the moment feels like a task beyond me.
Sorry, if this has dragged on a bit and doesn't have much of a point but felt I needed to get it off my chest.
Have you tried joining Autism Social Groups, either online or face to face. I’ve found this to be a really good way of making friends with other autistic people, who don’t tend to be so confusing.
My only friends are autistic and I think that’s because they are the only people who will get me and tolerate who I am. I suppose it works both ways.