Assessment tomorrow. Tired and feel like a fraud

I totally get that felt the same, the process requires a lot of patience , I am still waiting on the report, its been over a month wait for the postman/women every morning.

I'm with you on that. The waiting game is awful! Glad the doggies were okay

Yes the doggies were happy to see me :) 

I think I would prefer doing everything in one day, even if it takes 5 hours and would completely drain my energy. At least then it's over and done with and I don't have all the waiting in between and travelling there each time. 

*go

Like Esmeralda said, you probably gave them enough details in that time. I was told that my assessment would consist of two or three sessions, so maybe they tend to spread it out rather than making you gp through everything in one day? Hope you get chance to relax this afternoon and that you hear back from them soon.

Thanks for the update. Sounds like you gave enough material in the 90 minutes, probably needed to stop and check something before continuing I reckon. Hope you get your answer next time!

Hope the doggies are well and have had their dinner x

It was a bit shorter than I had expected. About an hour and a half. I almost wish it had been a bit longer and more in depth. I have to have a third assessment which will be in 2 to 3 months :( 

I know. I really do. Difficult to know which ones are common to all children and which are specific to ASD. Don't worry they will sort it out for you.

I felt exactly the same. I deliberately didn't research or read too much as I wanted to go in there with an open mind. I didn't think I had much sensory issues, until the assessor started asking me questions along the lines of "do you find this?" me "yes but doesn't everyone?" him "erm, no", or questions along the lines of "what do you do if this happens?" me "I don't have a problem with that as I always avoid it". I didn't read too much on these forums or post anything as in my mind my issues could be due to a whole bunch of things. However, it was worth the positive diagnosis. I no longer have to stress and worry about why I have issues. Good luck with getting through the process and try not to stress too much about it, although I know that is hard.

I've heard this before and I think it's a very sensible saying. I think I first heard it as an anecdote saying that GPs (at least ones who "know") say that if anyone walks into their surgery and says "I think I might be autistic" then they probably are, and will probably have done their research and checked it over many times, because why would anyone who *isn't* autistic think that they were?"

I said at my ADOS appointment "If I were simply being hypochondriac, then why did I *choose* autism to be hypochondriac about; why not ADHD - which I'm convinced I don't have by the way - or Schizophrenia or some other condition affecting the brain?". My point seemed to go across as well made.

No problem and it's not stupid. The more I read these forums, the more I realise those feelings are very normal. 

Thank you. It really is a strange situation where you can fail or pass but neither is good or bad and you can't even prepare for it to influence the outcome.

I know the dogs will be fine. They're always good when I leave them, just don't nomally leave them for that long. Just an extra thing I know I'm going to feel anxious about :( 

Thank you both. This really helps. I've never had much self-esteem and never been sure of my interpretations of experiences so I struggle to take my own difficulties seriously, especially while I'm going through a good phase. Like if I've had a good day with friends I feel like I can't possibly autistic if I can have fun with friends. I know it's a stupid way of thinking.

I hope so. I've started to doubt my own memories, experiences and feelings and am worried I am just somehow trying to make them fit

DuckBread said:

Anyone who suspects they're autistic has very good reason for doing so - whether our traits are autism or not, the challenges and experiences we have are real.

That's the main thing I  think. Nobody 'wants to be autistic', you have your reasons for going this far. And you deserve a respectful answer one way or the other.

Zakybi said:

are experts in their field somewhat they will pick stuff up and I don't think u need to prepare, I was the same I wanted to prepare, and even in some of my session I thought I was masking but they still picked loads up even stuff I didn't actually tell them,

Yes that's true. 

definitely most people do have these thoughts, I was the same and I read up loads on autism and then didn't read it anything weeks leading up to appoointments largely as it was making me anxious, but these are experts in their field somewhat they will pick stuff up and I don't think u need to prepare, I was the same I wanted to prepare, and even in some of my session I thought I was masking but they still picked loads up even stuff I didn't actually tell them, so try not to worry, u will be fine

I've been waiting for several months and just received some questionnaires to fill in before attending. I completely understand what you mean about feeling like a fraud - I'm constantly questioning myself (e.g. I'll be having lots of sensory issues and wonder whether it's all in my head). I've wondered whether I'm autistic for years and have only just had the courage to join this group today; I felt I didn't really belong here until I was sure I was a part of the autistic community. Having said that, I've just reached a point where I want to be able to reach out for advice.

The advice I'm trying to give myself is:

 - Anyone who suspects they're autistic has very good reason for doing so - whether our traits are autism or not, the challenges and experiences we have are real.

 - I've nothing to lose by getting an assessment (don't get me wrong - "feeling" autistic has been such a big part of my identity that I'm scared of having that taken away, but I would come to terms with it and explore other ways to help myself).

 - The assessment day will probably be tough, but it could give me the answers I need and help me get to know myself better - that's a lifelong benefit.

In terms of your dogs, I'm sure they'll keep each other company. Dogs have no concept of time, so as long as they have water and one another, they'll be okay for a few hours.

Best of luck for your assessment - I'd be interested to know how it goes.

Your dogs will just take a nap until you get back. You'll  have them waiting when you get home whatever the outcome.

It seems like most people have these thoughts as you say just before the assessment  day. There is no equivalent situation I  can think of to compare it to.

I hope you get your answer tomorrow.