Dealing With a Diagnosis

Jess said:

Hi all,

My name is Jess and i’m a 22 year old female. I received my ASD Level 1 diagnosis last week (I believe this would be equivalent to high functioning autism/Asperger’s). 

Hello and welcome to the NAS forum ~ I was (as a 44 year old male) diagnosed with ASD in May 2015, as is as you believe equivalent to Asperger's Syndrome ~ according to a footnote in the DSM-5 as follows:

Note: Individuals with a well-established DSM-IV diagnosis of autistic disorder, Asperger's Disorder, or pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified should be given the diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder.

https://images.pearsonclinical.com/images/assets/basc-3/basc3resources/DSM5_DiagnosticCriteria_AutismSpectrumDisorder.pdf

Jess said:

I was just wondering how everyone ‘dealt’ with their diagnosis and the emotions that were felt? The diagnosis is welcome and for me it feels like I’ve finally found the answer to many of the questions I’ve had about myself and my life. 

In one sense I prepared for my diagnosis by researching why I was so different or weird to most people from about 6 years of age ~ involving metaphysics, philosophy, theosophy and mostly psychology with some sociology.

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At the age of twelve I was diagnosed as being "Schizoaffective and/or Psychopathic" which in the sense of 'Birds of a feather flock together' allowed me to meet other neurologic divergents, and converse or also very much in my case research what we were experiencing and going through.

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For me ~ getting diagnosed was equivalent to getting a degree so welcoming it was more a case of celebrating it! :-)

Jess said:

Last week after my diagnosis I felt happy and extremely liberated - maybe now I can finally stop hating myself for my differences and learn to allow myself to be the true me. A few days later, however, I’m now feeling quite sad, lonely and confused but also a bit of denial; that they must of diagnosed me wrong and I’m a fraud. 

Did anyone else experience this?

For every ascent of feeling joy there is descent of feeling sorrow ~ that in cases of life-changing diagnoses can and do leave a good many people reeling, and the experience of which is often referred to as a 'diagnostic hangover'. They can last a few years not too unlike bereavements ~ what with the old version of you passing or fading away; but as instead revealing all phoenix like the original version of you.

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Giving up on the socially shared and enforced habituation of self denial and hatred is a particular theme of interest here, involving encouragement and things like diagnostic criteria may like above be posted and or links provided ~ [Warning! ///Attempt at humour ahead! \\\\Warning!] if you start imagining your critical ability to be above that of an Autism diagnostic specialist or team! ;-)

Jess said:

And what other stages can I expect to move through as I begin to process this?

As stated above the diagnosis can be like a bereavement, which involves seven stages of grief or emotional and mental processing ~ involving:

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1.) SHOCK & DENIAL

2.) PAIN & GUILT

3.) ANGER & BARGAINING

4.) DEPRESSION, REFLECTION, LONELINESS

5.) THE UPWARD TURN

6.) RECONSTRUCTION & WORKING THROUGH

and,

7.) ACCEPTANCE & HOPE

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These are simultaneous experiential states, but are singularly themed for different durations at particular times for each individual.

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To account for this I spent a planned year out doing yoga and transcendental meditation, and taking things very easy indeed.

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Then I read The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome by Tony Attwood, as it deals very much with preadolescent and adolescent development stages and covers adulthood too, which allowed me to revisit and review all my childhood and adulthood experiences of getting grief from people for not fitting in ~ and forgave both me and them for not knowing I had Asperger's Syndrome. :-)

Jess said:

How did people find sharing their diagnosis with their family and workplace ?

Well the female members of my family thought that it explained everything and accepted it very well indeed, whereas the male members were not so keen on it at all to begin with ~ as their social status historically involved the supposition of me being the one purposefully not fitting in.

Jess said:

Thank you in advance :-) 

Well have a good one ~ and may it be filled with infinitely more! :-)

Diagnosed a few weeks ago at 45. I think I have gone through every thought and scenario over the past two and half years waiting for the answer, which I think means I am not finding it too much of a shock. I initially felt massive relief. Over the following couple of weeks I have had the odd sad thought about what if I knew when I was younger, but have managed to stay positive and look to the future. Nothing I can do about the past now, but everything I can do about the future. I think it has now fully sunk in and I have accepted it. I am still working out new things about myself every day as I observe myself with new eyes. I am so far staying positive. Good luck and all the best for the future. Make the most of your plus points and try to manage the bad ones.

I can relate a bit - I got my diagnosis just under three hours ago and I’m in the happy liberated phase; but I can well imagine that this could turn into sadness and doubt. Part of the reason for this may be that we think “of course I’m normal - I’m as I’ve always been, and that’s normal for me”

But we are allowed to love ourselves and cut ourselves some slack. 

Keep chatting on this forum - it’s a place full of love and resonance most of the time.