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Does anyone else find this tricky?

Sickle Moon

Sometimes I wish, if I was going to have a disability, that I could have one everyone agreed was difficult. With autism, some people act like it's an absolute curse, and others say we need to celebrate neurodiversity and that there's nothing wrong with being autistic and it shouldn't even be thought of as a disability, that sometimes it's even advantageous, and that I'm being a mega drama queen for being upset about it. I mean, I find myself getting really sad and angry with myself for the way I am, but then I hear a lot of people saying there's nothing wrong with being autistic, so I try to be positive, and then just when I'm doing well being positive, I'll hear someone say autism is 'every parent's worst nightmare' or something along those lines. And then I go back to being despairing. I just don't know what to make of it. Does anyone else feel messed with by this?

  • Very few people understand what goes on in my head to some degree. Only one really understands and nobody really knows. I have told people about my recent diagnosis who have said "don't be silly, you're fine". This is because they do not know what goes on inside and I have done a pretty good job of putting out a confident image. Having said that I wouldn't change who I am. I think I can appreciate the world in a better way and can make a bigger positive difference than most. Therefore there are negatives and positives. Where people talk up the positives, they are simply doing that, because if you align your life in the right way and see things in a positive light, it can all become very positive. At the same time, behind that, those who understand, also understand that it has difficulties. Keep trying to keep positive. It is the answer...

  • Hi It can get confusing when other people are giving you lots of conflicting advice and opinions, I suspect at least some of these are 'armchair physicians' that don't actually know what they are talking about? One skill that I've had to learn as I've got older is to apply a filter to other people's opinions, to realise that it is just that, their opinion, not proven fact, to take on board the bits that sound 'reasonable' and to discard the bits that sound like complete rubbish!

    While there is nothing 'wrong' with being autistic and there are positive traits to it. Autism is a disability/disorder/condition so of course autistic people will struggle with some things that non-autistic people don't struggle with and no-one should be calling you a drama queen when you upset because of difficulties that you face. You may find that you need a bit of support to help you with the things that you struggle with.

    That said, it is possible to be autistic and still lead a happy, productive and fulfilling life. 

    I was trying to write a helpful reply to try to cheer you up but I'm not always too good with words.

    I hope you're doing ok?