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Dealing with criticism/debate/discussions

Tigerbalm

I find criticism and debates extremely stressful. It's not even that I'm not open to criticism, on a cognitive level I know criticism can be a good thing and you can learn from it. But I'm actually terrified of stating my opinion because someone is almost guaranteed to disagree with it in some way, and as soon as they do I start beating myself up over it, thinking I shouldn't have said/written that, I should just keep my stupid opinions to myself because not only may they be wrong, but now I am stressed because I have started a debate where I have to defend my opinion. Especially on the internet, places like Facebook I feel constantly stressed and worried. I want to get off Facebook because I don't think it's good for me but for a number of reasons it's not that easy. And also, wouldn't I just avoiding something I struggle with? How do I learn to deal with these things like a normal person? Like an adult? Because I want to, but if someone criticises me I'm flooded by a wave of panic and shame.

Parents

  •  I get this too. I've learned to manage it at work by making it all about facts and communication, but if I ever make friends and then there's a disagreement I find that really stressful sometimes (like "how can you like me / be my friend if you're saying that I'm wrong?").

    The behaviour on social media (especially Twitter) is appalling; you can post something innocuous like "Isn't this a fab morning?" and someone will come along and disagree.

    I find my stress levels *so* much lower now that I've closed all of my social media accounts. Like you I had reasons for not wanting to / being able to close Facebook - for me these were keeping in touch with family and friends from decades ago etc, plus the ubiquitous "log in with Facebook" but eventually I decided that it wasn't worth the pain and pulled the plug.

    A counsellor once said that I should keep social media and manage the associated stress & emotions (in the style of dealing with things rather than avoiding them) but I'm done with "pushing myself" into situations that I don't want, and don't *need* to be in, just to be able to wear the "I dealt with that!" badge.

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  •  I get this too. I've learned to manage it at work by making it all about facts and communication, but if I ever make friends and then there's a disagreement I find that really stressful sometimes (like "how can you like me / be my friend if you're saying that I'm wrong?").

    The behaviour on social media (especially Twitter) is appalling; you can post something innocuous like "Isn't this a fab morning?" and someone will come along and disagree.

    I find my stress levels *so* much lower now that I've closed all of my social media accounts. Like you I had reasons for not wanting to / being able to close Facebook - for me these were keeping in touch with family and friends from decades ago etc, plus the ubiquitous "log in with Facebook" but eventually I decided that it wasn't worth the pain and pulled the plug.

    A counsellor once said that I should keep social media and manage the associated stress & emotions (in the style of dealing with things rather than avoiding them) but I'm done with "pushing myself" into situations that I don't want, and don't *need* to be in, just to be able to wear the "I dealt with that!" badge.

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