Post Diagnosis Blues

This is a bit of a delayed reaction as I was actually diagnosed last December. I thought that I’d managed to avoid being too emotionally ‘affected’ by the diagnosis. However, I’ve had a bit of a vulnerable feeling creeping up on me for the past couple of weeks and it’s hit me full thwack today! I’m struggling with how autism makes me and I’m struggling with how the combined effect of brain injury plus autism makes me. I feel like the most stupid person in the world right now, someone who just goes through life blindly trusting people, always trying to see the best in people, never able to see when people are just playing me. I usually always try to keep positive and upbeat but I’m just feeling really overwhelmed by how socially naive my dual neurological diagnosis makes me. 

Parents
  • I hope you're feeling more like yourself now Kitsun. I'm learning so much from reading about people's experiences on this forum from validation about my own feelings of my journey so far to posts similar to yours: what the future could potentially hold. Thank you for sharing 

    Adult diagnosis seems to go like this:

    • Live a life feeling like "something's not quite right here..."
    • Hit rock bottom, discover autism
    • Eureka! That's me! This explains EVERYTHING
    • I'll pursue a diagnosis (it takes how long?! It's cost how much to go private?!)
    • Cycle with depression, am I really autistic? Am I finding excuses?
    • Yes I am
    • No I'm not (repeat!!)

    This is my journey so far (today I'm feeling like a fraudster again... I've had a very unusual week though so I'm running on fumes at this point)

Reply
  • I hope you're feeling more like yourself now Kitsun. I'm learning so much from reading about people's experiences on this forum from validation about my own feelings of my journey so far to posts similar to yours: what the future could potentially hold. Thank you for sharing 

    Adult diagnosis seems to go like this:

    • Live a life feeling like "something's not quite right here..."
    • Hit rock bottom, discover autism
    • Eureka! That's me! This explains EVERYTHING
    • I'll pursue a diagnosis (it takes how long?! It's cost how much to go private?!)
    • Cycle with depression, am I really autistic? Am I finding excuses?
    • Yes I am
    • No I'm not (repeat!!)

    This is my journey so far (today I'm feeling like a fraudster again... I've had a very unusual week though so I'm running on fumes at this point)

Children
  • Thank you I am feeling better now. I seem to manage to have these ‘acute anxiety’ episodes since diagnosis that can feel quite extreme but only last 2/3 days. Now feeling a bit silly about being quite so public about it but I’m also really grateful to a few friends on here who have been amazingly supportive Slight smile

    I think you sum up the adult diagnosis journey very well. It’s certainly fraught with very many difficulties and hurdles! Have you been referred for an assessment?

    What has happened this week to make it unusual? Sorry to hear that you’re running on fumes!