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Post Diagnosis Blues

Kitsune

This is a bit of a delayed reaction as I was actually diagnosed last December. I thought that I’d managed to avoid being too emotionally ‘affected’ by the diagnosis. However, I’ve had a bit of a vulnerable feeling creeping up on me for the past couple of weeks and it’s hit me full thwack today! I’m struggling with how autism makes me and I’m struggling with how the combined effect of brain injury plus autism makes me. I feel like the most stupid person in the world right now, someone who just goes through life blindly trusting people, always trying to see the best in people, never able to see when people are just playing me. I usually always try to keep positive and upbeat but I’m just feeling really overwhelmed by how socially naive my dual neurological diagnosis makes me. 

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  • in reply to Original Prankster
    Original Prankster said:
    So fed-up with autism right now, I just 'want my life back'...

    At this early stage it's a strange time. You can lose yourself in the diagnosis at first. I did.

    I'd say take a step back, and spend time thinking about who you are, and have always been. You can get too deep into autism, and not think about who you really are. Forget the paperwork, and clear your mind for a bit. Not saying ignore it all, but in my own personal experience I had to just clear my mind for a while.

    Yes, you have autism, but there's so much more to a person than that. It's better to know you, than everything about autism. Hope you find your way and get things back on track.

    All the best.

  • in reply to Original Prankster

    Yeah, I think there's been a few of us feeling a bit rubbish on here this week. I'm really sorry to hear that you're struggling too!

    The report can be very difficult to read. It does what it's supposed to do in that it gives detailed evidence of autism spectrum disorder but I found mine extremely personal and it was difficult to read my deficits as perceived by another person. Reading mine cut me deep, it hurt! Are you finding your report a difficult read?

    It's natural that you're going to feel a bit conflicted at the moment, I guess that while you may have sought this diagnosis and there were reasons for that, it's also a lot to take in when you get it confirmed in writing that yes you are autistic. It's something that I'm still coming to terms with and that will probably take me a while to fully come to terms with.

    I can see why you might feel like taking a break from the forums but I hope you stay, there are many people here who have been through the experience of being diagnosed as an adult and have been at the point of feeling how you feel now. This forum can be an invaluable source of support to you over the coming months and years as you get your head around 'being autistic'.