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Post Diagnosis Blues

Kitsune

This is a bit of a delayed reaction as I was actually diagnosed last December. I thought that I’d managed to avoid being too emotionally ‘affected’ by the diagnosis. However, I’ve had a bit of a vulnerable feeling creeping up on me for the past couple of weeks and it’s hit me full thwack today! I’m struggling with how autism makes me and I’m struggling with how the combined effect of brain injury plus autism makes me. I feel like the most stupid person in the world right now, someone who just goes through life blindly trusting people, always trying to see the best in people, never able to see when people are just playing me. I usually always try to keep positive and upbeat but I’m just feeling really overwhelmed by how socially naive my dual neurological diagnosis makes me. 

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  • To Kitsun(e), The Fantastic Miss Fox...

    Not sure what to say, but here is one of them "stories to show that You are totally not alone"...
    ...With regards to being 'naive and trusting', I still do that as well. But I have the 'Weapons' of Logic and Experience nowadays, with awareness of Irony. (Irony is a thing not always associated with Autism.)
    ...Up until about age 25, I used to blindly & Totally Trust Everything which was said at Me and To Me and About Me. Up to age 30, I finally got fed up of the total contradictions between what I said and did, and what other Persons said of Me and did at Me.
    At age 30, Finally, I saw that something was "not right" with life, and with the manner in which it treated Me. And so I dared to begin very VERY intensive research to find out more and to clarify any contradictions going on.
    ...In doing this, I found out many unique factors about (My) "Life", which seemed to be unknown/dismissed by Other Persons which I now understood... and a whole new World opened up at Me!... which to this Day is *still* denied/prevaricated/misunderstood! ... by certain others, and I continue to learn from others via the manner in which they either accept a Fact or dismiss it.

    ...Yes this is very vague, but it has a consistent pattern: Lying, Crime, Conforming, and even not getting a "disability" diagnosis... these all adhere to Patterns, which I had to discover all on My own... because Lying, Criminals, and conforming to be Allistic (Not Autistic) contradict eachother.

    ...I could say more, but this may be confusing enough already. However - Example-Facts which 'I had to find out for Myself', include Allergies, Racism, Sexism, and "Disabl-ism".
    (...I was never told that I was "Autistic" - I had to PUSH for that diagnosis Myself! No-one else neither cared nor knew, until the actual Diagnosis officially occurred. Even after that, all Facts that apply to Myself are ignored, yet I know that they *are Facts*, and that it is only the Law which keeps on changing.)

    ...Whoops, that was a bit long! I only wrote that much out of a sort of familiarity/respect at You, Miss Fox. All of that, I was, as I say, naive /unaware of, until quite late in My Life. Make of it what You Will. (Including anyone else who reads...) I think that I should sign off, now, but Glad Tidings, as always.

  • in reply to Disambiguating Cynosure

    Thank You DC :-) 

    I guess that for all our vulnerabilities, we also have many strengths. 

    I find that having a whole new world opened up to me is mostly a good thing and mostly something that I embrace, but I m still new to this world so sometimes I slip and stumble a bit.

    No worries about the long reply. Thank you for understanding :-)

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