Post Diagnosis Blues

This is a bit of a delayed reaction as I was actually diagnosed last December. I thought that I’d managed to avoid being too emotionally ‘affected’ by the diagnosis. However, I’ve had a bit of a vulnerable feeling creeping up on me for the past couple of weeks and it’s hit me full thwack today! I’m struggling with how autism makes me and I’m struggling with how the combined effect of brain injury plus autism makes me. I feel like the most stupid person in the world right now, someone who just goes through life blindly trusting people, always trying to see the best in people, never able to see when people are just playing me. I usually always try to keep positive and upbeat but I’m just feeling really overwhelmed by how socially naive my dual neurological diagnosis makes me. 

Parents
  • You've cheered me and many others here up many a time Kitsun. I'm really sorry someone/some people have betrayed your trust.

    It does really hurt when you try to be nice and give people the benefit of the doubt and they then treat you unfairly.

  • Thank you. My post wasn't really aimed at anyone in particular. It's more about myself, my own naivety and vulnerability. I always try to help people and cheer them up when they're having a hard time because it's in my nature to do so.

    I just get frustrated with myself sometimes, that I don't engage my brain before I say things, that I am so totally clueless when it comes to people. Some one told me years ago that I was a joke and that's honestly what a feel like right now, a joke. A joke that talks far too much about things she shouldn't and totally can't read other people. 

  • It is scary feeling vulnerable. I have that feeling too.

    The person who called you a joke is a... well I won't type it here, but please don't take to heart what they said.

    Perhaps if us Autistics stick together we are not as vulnerable as we feel. In that respect you're more than doing your bit, running the local women's Autistic group.

  • It is and I'm sorry that you feel vulnerable too!

    Thank you, I doubt that they even remember saying it and probably just said it as something to say rather than because they really meant it, it's just one of those things that has stuck in my head!

    I think Autistic solidarity is a good way to go, safety in numbers right? Thank you, I'm pleased with how the group is going and the connections that I've made because of it.

Reply
  • It is and I'm sorry that you feel vulnerable too!

    Thank you, I doubt that they even remember saying it and probably just said it as something to say rather than because they really meant it, it's just one of those things that has stuck in my head!

    I think Autistic solidarity is a good way to go, safety in numbers right? Thank you, I'm pleased with how the group is going and the connections that I've made because of it.

Children
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