Published on 12, July, 2020
So I'm 32 and a massive procrastinator, to the point where i literally do nothing, I'm not working and even though i'm married i'm living back with my parents(long story) this leads to a lot of problems, every one thinking and telling me i'm lazy, my physical heath is deteriorating as i don't do any exercise, don't eat properly and my personal hygiene is terrible but i can't help myself but to do nothing. I have no motivation to do anything even though i don't like being this way. I also fail at anything i put my mind too, which leads to another issue that is crippling, professionalism. If i really put my mind to something i have to get it perfect which i then neglect stuff even more and get exhausted and if i fail at said task i then beat myself up and convince myself that im stupid and useless which then makes me procrastinate. It's a violent circle that im ultimately stuck in. Im not even sure why i'm writing this post, like i don't know what im expecting to gain from writing it or what im really asking. What i will say is i hate and i mean i HATE! being called laz. God i wanna go out in the "real world" and be "normal", I want to be healthy and fit, I want to go out on days with the wife doing "normal" things like pubs, going out for food, walks, etc but i just can't. Now i feel like im rambling, don't even know what im writing but yea, i wrote it.
Do you try to-do lists? They give a sense of achievement: after every task, no matter how small, cross it off the list with heavy backwards and forwards motions. I suffer from procrastination at work and on my bad days I break my list down in to micro-chunks. For example on an average day I could write 'calculate the cost of x' but on a bad day I would write the steps underneath the main task:
So for one task I get to cross of 4 additional things.
Also consider the Eisenhower urgent/important scaling system:
Try writing a list of everything that's bothering you (include writing the list as a task!) and scale it 1-4. Have a look at how you rate things and what can be ignored - i.e. what's safe to procrastinate.
Once you have a list break it down into what's manageable for that day - never write a to-do list that's impossible to achieve because that will make you feel like a failure. On good days stretch yourself and on bad days give yourself a more modest list.
I do this everyday.
I’m sorry, I’m reading the replies as I write them and it sounds like I’m making excuse. Whenever I set a task I can’t stick to it, I feel overwhelming pressure and *** out. I’m not sure if you know what it is as many don’t but I was up until recently a streamer on twitch but I’ve had to quit for many reasons, one being I couldn’t commit. I’d set a schedule but It’d then feel like work and I get the feel like I have to do it rather than want to, this would cause pressure and anxiety and I’d end up making an excuse not to stream.
I'm very familiar with twitch, had my own channel, grew a following, purchased better hardware/software, over-committed and like yourself felt pressured out of something I used to enjoy. It got to a point where I wasn't playing the games I liked just to stick to a schedule for a minimal audience that probably didn't even care! So I hear you on that one.
For me list writing isn't about me making a commitment as such, it's so I have something to tick off as a reward for completing a task.
I think I understand how you are feeling on a certain level. When I can't do a task at work I've been putting off I get physically repulsed by the idea of starting it. Even if I'm perfectly capable of doing it, as I'm sure you are with your tasks. But it's that feeling of dread, of not knowing where to even begin to start it that puts me off and sets the cycle of procrastinating again. I have specific days where I do all the tasks I've been putting off - this allows me to justify my procrastination only as long as I promise to do them on the 'procrastinated task day'! If I know in my head I'm going to be doing something I don't want to do I can more easily adapt to it, rather than putting something off because I don't want to do it at the present time in that state of mind. I know I'm going to be uncomfortable doing those tasks but because I have that knowledge when I do feel uncomfortable it's not a surprise and actually it's never as bad as I imagine! It makes me feel good about myself afterwards so maybe I get home and order pizza with a few beers!
Here's a positivity tip: When you wake up try and make the first thing you think about your previous days achievements - no matter how small and build from there. It actually works. I used to wake up dreading what the day had in store and sluggishly dragged myself out of bed, desperately wanting to just stay there. I do associate depressive thoughts with being tired and slow and happy thoughts with energy and bouncing around with speed. So even if my previous day's achievements were crap, I've tricked my mind into a bit of happiness.
Don't get me wrong, I want thing's but have no idea how to get them being the way that I am, nor can i get motivated to find out how. Just feel lost in this strange world, a world that i feel the only way i can succeed is to do things that make me unwell.
So have a good think about a lifestyle that would suit you that would be attainable.
Set your sights on the achievable.
When I was young I wanted a mansion and Ferrari - my measly pay packets soon killed that dream.
I think I've worked out what I need from life and I'm working towards that. That is my motivation.
I hear you, think I just need to find the things that truly make me happy.I've never had friends as it's something that's always been difficult to obtain.If i'm honest, right now, no I don't have any enthusiasm with anything, which is again something I struggle with. I'm just a mess
I'm a little obsessed with twitch lol.The responses are amazing, Do I feel motivated, no and i think that's the route of a lot of my issues, I just cant get motivated, can't even get motivated to implement the techniques you guys are sharing with me. No idea what's next, I'm just drifting through life at the moment.