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I've been having so much fun!

I'm done with Christmas Cards

I've rediscovered an interest in one of my persisting hobbies - ham radio.

This might not sound relevant to ASD until you read to the end. It's also something positive that you might enjoy reading.

Here are some of the positive things for me:

  • Sense of luck / achievement when making a new contact in a previously un-contacted country
  • Validation of my technical knowledge and skills when I "get things right"
  • Sense of mystery when listening to weak signals in background noise
  • Soothing qualities of background noise (like wind / water)
  • Sense of connection to the physical world when listening to lightning crashes
  • Occupying my brain with pondering and planning what I'll try next
  • Scratching the "collecting things" itch by meticulously recording call signs, times, technical parameters of the contact
  • Scratching the "systemising" itch by designing and implementing the architecture of the radio, software, antennas
  • Feeling a sense of connection into an imagined landscape of electromagnetic waves and electric currents when visualising how antennas and circuits work
  • Almost meditative quality of focussing on the hobby and being isolated from the hubbub of the excited television in the lounge
  • Connection with my childhood self, discovering all of the above with a sense of wonder and purpose

On and off over the decades I've been embarrassed to "admit" that I love the radio ham hobby, and on several occasions forced myself to stop for several years. But now I believe it is really a part of me and I love it. And I'm sure there's a connection with this and my recently improved mental heath and victory over addictive behaviours - though I'm not sure which is cause and which is effect.

I've also noticed that I find browsing the web for bits of radio equipment that are for sale, or looking at the stories of what other radio hams have been up to, is actually very soothing.

One other funny thing is that occasionally I'll talk over the radio to another radio ham who lives in my local area, and they will say "great that you are local - why don't you come along to the radio club?" to which I *really* want to say "Are you mad? I do this hobby partly to escape from social interaction - I want to *play* with radios, not *talk* to *people* about them!".

So I'm wondering - I'm pretty sure that the "unusual intensity and focus" here ticks a box for Restricted and Repetitive Behaviours - when I'm building something, I see eating even my favourite food as an unwelcome interruption even if I'm hungry, and I have been playing until 1.00 a.m. because I resent the intrusion of having to go to work.

But what I'm actually pondering is whether my embarrassment and desire to hide the hobby is actually a form of masking. Maybe I'm stretching things here, but it's interesting thoughts.

  • Funny, my grandad was a radio ham and definitely the previous aspie in the family line. He used to build his own kit and everything. There is a chapter in Steve Silberman's "Neurotribes" that talks about early radio hams and how many of them were probably autistic. I think it's something that appeals to the autistic mind. My grandad used to disappear for hours into his radio room, and looking back on it I think it is where he felt the most comfortable.

  • in reply to blank_smile

    Thanks :-)

    Yes there is some overlap I think between ham radio and fascination with weather and transport - explaining why some ham radio retail outlets also sell weather station equipment! Also plane spotting & tracking etc.

    I used to listen to the Radio 4 weather forecast as a child as I was dropping off to sleep. The names of the shipping areas had a sense of mystique and poetry and guided my mind's eye around the coast (even though I didn't know where the regions were and don't really have a mind's eye in the conventional sense).

    I remember once at uni being *incredibly* excited to hear a Canadian local radio station from the UK (because the station is only intended to be audible within a few hundred miles of Newfoundland and there I was all the way across the Atlantic) and I rushed into the lounge to see who else wanted to witness this amazing thing; no-one was interested in the slightest :-).

  • I used to work with a guy who was into shipping forecasts and would talk to me about it for hours, showing me the various online web cams of docks throughout the country. He would even take holidays in Portsmouth to watch the harbour whilst listening to the radios. Come to think of it he was probably on the spectrum! Thing is, it was very unusual and some people joked about it, but I could literally listen to him go on for hours - because I wanted to, I was genuinely interested. I think I found his interest in it more fascinating than the actual subject. It wasn't about the football or weather, it was about something I never really knew existed. I started watching those webcams myself, they were quite relaxing!

    What you've said has interested me. I've even googled it to look into it more. It's about finding that person who isn't threatened or afraid of unusual things and is genuinely interested. Those who aren't, personally I'd keep up the mask, why bother with them! Let them follow the crowd..

    I get what you're saying about the 1am thing. I used to get very carried away gaming. It was always a case of "morning me hates gamer me". I can relate to food getting in the way too - I used to eat as quickly as I could purely because my body needed food, not because I wanted to eat. When I get into something I always fell like there isn't enough time.