On being seen as too able

I am waiting to hear a response from an ASD clinic on being put on a waiting list for an assessement.

My worry is that during the interview (and when claiming benifits), I will be perceived as 'too able' and misdiagnosed or rejected, due to my intellectual ability, and that my speech will sometimes appear normal when interested in a topic. I have learning difficulties when it comes to comprehension (making sense of information), but in terms of fluid intelligence (pattern recognition), I am able to use inductive reasoning to assess situations or problems and find ways to cope - I am the type of person your parents would ask on how a piece of technology works for instance, because I like to tinker.

I am debating how I should appear in the interview, even though it could be months ahead. I have heard people use the term 'masking' for when adapting their behaviour to model that of a neurotypic person. I am a very ethical and rational person, so it is playing on my mind.

  • Hi there,

    I'd also say, don't worry about it and just be yourself and truthful about what you struggle with. That's what I did and the outcome was clear cut. Despite this, I still feel a bit like a fraud, because I too had been masking "normally" for years. I'd agree with whoever it was who said it was exhausting - it is!

    Anyway, hope it goes well for you. I think it is helpful getting a diagnosis because at least then you have an explanation for what makes you behave and think as you do in certain situations. It helped me make sense of things.

  • Yes - 99% processing power required trying to fit in vs. 1% required for doing the actual job.

  • Hello CallMeBob,

    I have the same issue as I am seen as being independent and able but as you know this is not always the case as people do not see the turmoil of trying to cope with life. I may go out shopping albeit late at night but I often return shaking with fright due to having to drive. Please be your self at the interview and try and use as many examples as possible to demonstrate how you manage to cope.

  • I’m too able, too capable, too clever, too articulate. It takes a huge amount of me to do that. The vulnerable true me would be eaten by wolves. I’m also very good at masking, until I go *pop* 

  • I really wouldn’t worry about it.., one of the areas on the DISCO assessment is about fixated interests. I’m female, so generally we display more subtle interests and they went through mine extensively. 

    Mine went really well, it was so relaxed, it wasn’t like anybody was trying to catch me out. I was just 100% honest and everything was recorded. Language used by assessors was simple, short sentences and they always checked understanding,

    let us know how you get on 

  • Thanks for the response. I have decided to simply trust that the assessors are well trained and know what signs to look out for, considering it is being done in an ASD clinic (multi-disciplinary team) and not by a standard therapist.

    I am going to clarify in the interview, that due to my expansive interest in technical fields, I may appear to sound neurotypical, but to take this as indication of evidence that I exhbit fixated interests.

  • hey bob. I too did think about "not looking autistic enough" as I am highly educated and have worked as a teacher for 20 years. However remember the person who interviews you will be used to meeting all sorts of people, and reading their body language, speech patterns etc.

    My assessment referral asked me to give brief details; instead I ended up writing best part of a couple of pages about the difficulties I face; quirks I have etc. I think that played a large part in m diagnosis, as well as the questionnaires I filled in where I was safely over the AS threshold each time.

    In the actual assessment itself I acted normally, but did not try to mask anything. I do struggle to talk about myself, and noticeably do not make eye contact then. I was honest about the issues I have, and didn't play anything down, I described the odd tics I have even though it was a bit embarrassing, for example.

    PS one of my vocal tics concerns the word Bob...so guess what I've been repeating whilst typing this...

  • ok, it hadn't ever worked before when i tried it...

  • ...Hear Hear!

    (I say, In support of what "Origial Prankster" says, there. My "quote" function is not working just now!)

    ..."Mask" in life if one must... but do NOT "mask" during an Assessment.

  • It's funny how in moments of utter despair I reach for my phone to see what's been posted in the forum and see a post that's been exactly describing what's causing me so much distress. I'm becoming more and more suicidal with the inability to drop my mask since being diagnosed. I thought I could finally just be myself and looked forward to all the relief that would bring and yet I find myself in a conversation with an official yesterday still 'masking' but being much more acutely aware of what my brain is trying to do and it's actually more stressful. I thought I was a prisoner to the ASD but now I see I'm actually a prisoner to the 'masking' my brain has been using for survival all these years, it feels really weird, like I've been brainwashed.

    So well put saying you feel 'stuck between 2 worlds'. I know in my case if I'm to survive one has to go....I no longer have the strength, plastic is right, the older you get the more utterly exhausting it becomes.

  • Well that was it for me with a brain injury. Knocked off my bike and ASD much worse, then a further near fatal fall a year later. Now sever brain injury problems - just from last year. Shame humiliation worried about ASD and suicide especially now that dementia seems to be happening.

    Iwas a doctor doing well until my head injury, now career ended, £2m financial loss, all seems terrible.

    I was also computer geek, but caught in a web trap and new cybercrime unit made out I didn't know it was a scam site- terrible - all over press and TV - all lies. The police and CPS can be cruel and twist things round to avoid the truth. They have no understanding of ASD

  • Yes - I think life dents us and, ;ole an old car, things start to fail.  My mask was superb when I was younger but all the stress causes cracks.   I also find the mask is rigid - so it loses the ability to adapt and keep up with what's required in social situations.

  • I’m also beginning to think that as I get older, I have been thru more distress and this is making it harder... like I’m damaging myself keep putting myself out there for more trauma.

    i have also had 2 bullying managers. One I took to grievance, won and settled out of court with the company 

  • I've masked very well for years - I worked my way up to being a chartered engineer and hid my condition well until I had a bullying manager that made things start to show when I couldn't cope with all the lies.  

    A brain injury a few years ago has made it more obvious and harder to mask.

  • I am finding this also... I am much more tired (40 now) Also being pregnant has somehow weirdly affected my ability to mask. 

  • Me too - I have a twin to copy so I've been masking for as long as I've been alive.   I'm really good at it - but as I've got older, I can't keep the performance up for as long.   It's exhausting.

  • Seriously don’t worry about it... I went in to my assessment not knowing what to expect. I was completely honest. I am an exceptional masker and I have done it that long I really struggle to keep my mask off. It’s like I’m stuck between the 2 worlds. 

    Since being diagnosed I have been in many groups of people on the spectrum and people always think I am NT staff or a family member of someone on the spectrum. I still got my diagnosis.

  • I'm the opposite with a big gap between verbal intelligence and non-verbal/pattern recognition/spatial intelligence. Unfortunately I was at school(1961-1975) when although there might be sporadic mentions of difficulties nothing was joined together into a coherent whole.  Basically if you were of average or above intelligence having learning difficulties was very rarely considered..

    I've heard of some autism assessments where cognition is tested, but that wasn't the case with me. My stepfamily has said I have little common sense , and I'm most definitely not good at practical tasks. 

  • Just be honest...

    Don't try to say the 'right' things

    Don't try to be 'polite'

    DO be true to yourself