Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, I am wondering what peoples views are on whether autism/ASD is hereditary. My daughter, now 18, was diagnosed age 15. Her assessment came as a result of being an inpatient for a severe eating disorder. 6 months later my son was diagnosed at age 19. Neither my husband or myself have been diagnosed or assessed but I can't help wondering how we managed to bring our lovely children up for 15 years without picking up on the ASD. My daughter was always anxious but it appeared to be manageable. Retrospectively it clearly was not manageable and she ended up very ill.
Anyhow, I was wondering if the reason that we hadn't picked up on any ASD traits is because in our house eveybody's behaviors is perfectly typical. When we discussed how they played as children both my husband and me said to the psychologist 'but doesn't everyone play like that?'. In the tasks that they did for the ADOS they gave responses that we thought were typical responses. My husband has always been widely regarded as eccentric but he has been very fortunate in his employment in that everyone loves him for his eccentricity (including me). I myself am extremely introverted and hate social situations, avoiding them at all costs unless absolutely unavoidable. So I was wondering if the reason why both my children have ASD could be because either me or my husband (or both) unknowingly have it, and maybe that is why we haven't picked it up in our children. That is to say in our house ASD is normal and most others walking through our front door are in effect neuro atypical! I would appreciate your thoughts. Thanks.
Given the patterns within my family over a number of generations, i'd be very surprised to find it wasn't. I also now believe that this is what drew me to my husband as I think we're both neurodivergent. Consequently (i think) so are our sons.
As Philip Wylie states, again in the "Very Late Diagnosis" book, "Be aware that there is a very powerful law of attraction between similar people who have neurological conditions" and also that, "the popular idiom "birds of a feather flock together" is relevent to people who have ASD". He also refers to the "path of autism" in families and recommends that the pathway should be investigated on a family basis rather than individually (not that this happens, but I think he's onto something).
Following my own very late diagnosis last year, i can now easily join the dots and track this path within my own family. In fact, i can't believe I didn't see it a great deal sooner, even if the issues that tended to crop up did attract different labels over the years (usually depression or anxiety). What i now see is that undiagnosed (and therefore unsupported) autism was the ground on which these other issues grew.
That said, i used to think we all just shared family traits and that this was our normal. Yes, we tend to be a bit eccentric and sensitive, but so what? So in many ways it's been easy for autism to hide in plain sight for so long.