Making friends as an adult?

Hello,

Just joined, apologies if I’m posting in the wrong place.

I was diagnosed with Aspergers about 7 years ago.  I feel like it helped in a lot of ways but I’m very stressed about making friends.  I moved away from the area I lived since birth two years ago and I do not have any friends where I live.  I have a partner who I live with, and I keep in touch with my friends from home.

So, my question is, how do I make friends?? I really don’t know how to do it, and just end up feeling anxious and sad and like there’s something wrong with me!

Vicky

  • Meetup.com.   It's all very gentle - as much commitments as you like - just find out what's going on near you.   I attend coffee mornings, lunches, cinema meets, meals out, techy meetups - you name it, there's probably a local get together.

  • Hi Vicky, I guess it partly depends on what you're looking for from those friendships. I've found that joining clubs has provided me at least with  some acquaintances-with-whom-I-get-along-and-quite-like. Online too is a source of contact and connection.

    But I will admit that if I look at myself objectively, I don't think I have any friends in the true sense of the word, and don't know what the true sense of the word fully means as an adult.

  • Hi Vicky,

    How do you make friends?

    I ask a long term friend of 20 years, "How do you make friends?". I looked at his active "friends" page and his trips to friends all over the world and realised there was something wrong with me...

    He said, "Be interested in what they say and stay in contact regularly." They should do the same.

    An aspie program said, If you find talking to new people awkward, go to places that make taking about things easy. So go to chess clubs, or dungeons and dragons, or to a fan feast.

    More importantly, be safe. Don't be alone with people who you have just met. A trusting friendship takes years and a little risk. Sitting at a table together in a public cafe is fine.

    Lastly, as ASD people I think we have to understand that we do get taken advantage of. Just keep that in mind.

    Hope that helps.