Lost and Confused

Hello everyone.

I'm new here. It's taken me a while to sign up but hoping someone could offer some advice.

I'm in my thirties and just started a new career. It's a very social environment, a lot of comaraderie and a lot of situations where I will be working closely with another person. This is one of my biggest fears as I struggle massively with socialising. I have struggled since childhood and would usually turn mute when there were people around who I did not class as a friend. Also struggle talking to family members. I feel like I don't know who I am, my personality feels skewed and I end each day telling myself that I will act better tomorrow and people will start to talk to me if I act a certain way. Being around people tires me out, I relish time alone and have been known to sit in toilets just to be alone or walk another way in the street if I see people I know (even though they wouldn't talk to me).

I have not been diagnosed with Asperger's, I have been diagnosed previously with OCD and Depression. Not sure how to go about getting a diagnosis and also petrified that it will ruin my career. I'm not even sure I have Asperger's, maybe I'm just awkward? How important is a diagnosis?

Thank you.