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Living La Vida Aspie....

Lotus

After posting a few threads recently exploring the three main areas of autism and ideas about identity, I have now formulated my own 'ABC' guide to living the best autistic life you can:

A is for Anxiety, and also for Autonomy

Anxiety seems to be the default state of most autistic people outside of their homes. It can also happen in the home. Find your own best ways of managing it, without worrying about what other people think. Get away from a situation if you need space and time alone to process - fighting, or forcing yourself to try to mask when you are in a near meltdown state can be damaging. Don't be scared to ask for help if you need it. Your own happiness is more important than the approval of others.

Autonomy = the quality or state of being independent, free, and self-directing. Enjoy.

B is for Bad information

Remember that understanding  of autism is still in its infancy. There is a great deal that has been discovered, but still a lot nobody really fully understands. Try not to be influenced or worried by certain things you read about Autism and to not let it undermine your confidence. Look at NT people - really observe them. They are not superheroes, they get things wrong too due to their own "bad information" about others.

 C is for Communication

Try to communicate with other people. Some people will find you hard to 'read ' and may misinterpret you, and you may not have a clue what they mean. So tell them what you're thinking or how you're feeling. Ask them what they mean if you're not sure. I believe that autistic minds have a great ability to learn and accept  new ideas, so keep an open mind and seek out others to communicate with who can help you develop your knowledge and capabilities. 

That's all from me for now. Have a good bank holiday weekend, be kind to each other, and see you all sometime in the future.

  • in reply to Bookworm

    I just literally assume that someone else knows what I’m thinking Shrug

  • in reply to Kitsune

    I can relate to what you say about assuming the other person knows what your talking about even though its never been discussed with that person, then the moment of, oh yea we've not discussed this, Im usually really embaressed at this point. I think with me its because Im already trying to think of something else to say and panicing a little.

  • One major source of anxiety I get is when I'm in an unpleasant situation with no way to easily leave it. Like a boring shopping trip. That's something that parents need to be aware of and to allow their kids to go off on their own when possible on trips like that.

  • Lotus said:
    Bad information

    Lotus said:
    Remember that understanding  of autism is still in its infancy. There is a great deal that has been discovered, but still a lot nobody really fully understands. Try not to be influenced or worried by certain things you read about Autism and to not let it undermine your confidence. Look at NT people - really observe them. They are not superheroes, they get things wrong too due to their own "bad information" about others.

    Yey, I came across a lot of nonsense, it is important to keep your North and love yourself, to see through the negative stuff for hat it is.

  • I really like the guide you’ve made :-) The last point, communication is particularly relevant for me. Don’t get me wrong, I can talk loads but I have little awareness of what message I am conveying to the listener, maybe I don’t actually say the things that are important, then I realise afterwards what I really should have said. I’m also rubbish sometimes at realising what I need to communicate, because I get into the mind set of just because I know something, I assume the other person knows it too, without me actually bothering to tell them. Yes I know that sounds completely ridiculous when I write it down but it’s just how I think sometimes. I get stuck in a mind bubble of ‘me’ and forget to take into account the thoughts and perceptions of the person that I’m talking to. I also need to ask people to clarify what they mean and what is their intended reason for saying it, a lot more, as I don’t do this often and it leads to me getting confused by other people’s responses and probably leaves them confused by my responses. Hope you have a good bank holiday weekend too :-)