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Discovery 3 - Empathy (and testing)

Lotus

Tyrell: Is this to be an empathy test? Capillary dilation of the so-called blush response? Fluctuation of the pupil? Involuntary dilation of the iris?
Deckard: We call it Voight-Kampff for short.


Empathy comes in 3 "flavours" . 

Cognitive empathy is the ability to know how other people feel and what they might be thinking. Also known as perspective taking, it is useful for motivating people or in negotiations. I never knew this was a type of empathy until recently. It requires good non verbal communication skills, which is why autistic people have difficulty with it (See my previous post "Discovery 2 - Let's talk about communication" for more  information)

Compassionate empathy is wanting to help other people, or animals, in pain and distress. People who have this trait but can keep an emotional distance to avoid being overcome by it make good nurses, paramedics etc. 

Emotional or affective empathy is when you feel another person's emotion. Autistic people can feel this very strongly, sometimes more than an NT person, so the assumption that we have no empathy is not true. This misunderstanding may be caused by our struggle to know how to respond to the distress of others, which could be interpreted as a lack of caring. However Autistic people may get overcome by their distressing emotions and may shut down emotionally in response to to becoming overloaded.

The Voight-Kampff test was in a movie, however  there are empathy tests, plus many others, to determine whether a person is Autistic. This can be useful, as it can lead to kind, empathic people helping those who want and need support to deal with  life. But testing and diagnosis should not be allowed to lead to doubts over competence or the feeling that one is doing something "wrong". NT people misread Autistic people too.  It's just difference.

Parents

  • A much clearer explanation than you usually see - thank you.

    I can see my issue is with a lack of cognitive empathy e.g.

    Wife - "Does this dress make me look fat?"

    Me - "Yes, it's very unflattering" (because it is)

    Wife - "HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT! YOU THINK I'M FAT!?"

    Me - "No, I said that that dress makes you LOOK fat"

    Wife - <angry tears>

    Me - [thinking: WTF just happened? Why is she upset? She asked me if the dress made her look fat - it does so I told her... why is she upset by this fact...]

    But equally there are certain songs that just make me spontaneously burst into tears (I have to avoid "Tea and toast" by Lucy Spraggan unless I actively want to feel upset) and when I told my wife and some (NT) friends they simply couldn't understand how a song could have such a dramatic effect on someone.

    The other thing is I find it really hard to be around people who are highly emotional it triggers an 'escape' but also a 'disgust' reaction, much like if they were covered in vomit or faeces... I think this is a subversion of that reaction to potential biological/disease contamination... I don't want to risk 'emotional contamination'...

  • in reply to Original Prankster

    Your example prompted me to find this piece of flash fiction I once wrote

    FLAP

    She walks in, wiggles her ass at me.

    'Does this make me look fat?'

    'No.'

    'You're just saying that.'

    'Whaddaya want me to say?'

    'The truth.'

    'No.  You don't look fat in it.  It's too small for you, though.'

    'Christ!  It's too small?  It's my goddamn size!'

    Ah, f**k...

    'But you're not fat.'

    'How can you say that?  I must have put on weight.'

    Where's this going?

    'Listen... you look fine.  If you've put on weight, it doesn't show.'

    'If?  If it's too small, there's no 'if' about it.'

    She stomps out.

    I look at the paper.  The usual crap.  Deaths.  Beatings.  Robberies.

    She comes back in.

    'How about this?'

    'That's much better.'

    'Liar!'

    'What?'

    'It's the same goddamn skirt, you jerk!'

    Ah, s**t.

    'Maybe I was wrong before.  It fits you fine.'

    'You goddamn liar.'

    'So, why'd you ask me, then?'

    'Christ knows.  Might as well ask the goddamn cat.'

    We look at the cat.  Sitting there.  Eyes blinking.  Bored.

    Suddenly it gets up, stretches, goes up to her.

    'Lady,' it says 'With an ass like that, just be grateful you don't have to go out the way I do.'

    Then it disappears through the catflap, just like that.

Reply
  • in reply to Original Prankster

    Your example prompted me to find this piece of flash fiction I once wrote

    FLAP

    She walks in, wiggles her ass at me.

    'Does this make me look fat?'

    'No.'

    'You're just saying that.'

    'Whaddaya want me to say?'

    'The truth.'

    'No.  You don't look fat in it.  It's too small for you, though.'

    'Christ!  It's too small?  It's my goddamn size!'

    Ah, f**k...

    'But you're not fat.'

    'How can you say that?  I must have put on weight.'

    Where's this going?

    'Listen... you look fine.  If you've put on weight, it doesn't show.'

    'If?  If it's too small, there's no 'if' about it.'

    She stomps out.

    I look at the paper.  The usual crap.  Deaths.  Beatings.  Robberies.

    She comes back in.

    'How about this?'

    'That's much better.'

    'Liar!'

    'What?'

    'It's the same goddamn skirt, you jerk!'

    Ah, s**t.

    'Maybe I was wrong before.  It fits you fine.'

    'You goddamn liar.'

    'So, why'd you ask me, then?'

    'Christ knows.  Might as well ask the goddamn cat.'

    We look at the cat.  Sitting there.  Eyes blinking.  Bored.

    Suddenly it gets up, stretches, goes up to her.

    'Lady,' it says 'With an ass like that, just be grateful you don't have to go out the way I do.'

    Then it disappears through the catflap, just like that.

Children