Advice needed please!

Hello Arlia.  Like you, I have waited a long time and been misdiagnosed with all sorts of conditions before autism was suggested.  CBT and antii-depressants never worked for me, for reasons that I now understand.  I also struggle with social situations, but am fine with children, or adults with learning disabilities.  I just feel like I'm on a different wavelength with people like that.  Normal people are incomprehensible to me.  I simply cannot understand or comprehend what drives them.

It was speaking on here, in large part, that has really helped me since I got my diagnosis, and it continues to help me in so many ways. All of a sudden I had people who not only understood me but that were experiencing the same things as well ~ this stopped me from going crazy, several times I’m sure. 

I’m still learning. I think I’m just getting an understanding of it all, then boom, something else is revealed. 

I’m just exploring traits with my autism support worker, and just looking at perfectionism, alone, I’m amazed to find out  how it pervades into almost all areas of my life, without me realising it. 

This stuff runs deep. Just take your time. There are so many revelations, but with them, comes sorrow, sadness, grief, sometimes anger, etc etc, so it’s a journey, with a lot of processing and a lot of learning and growth and changes, but once you start looking and learning you realise you can turn this around and make life work for you. 

Please feel free to share your thoughts and ask questions and I find it helpful to sometimes read through past posts, just going through them, you can learn a lot that way as well. But stick around. You’ll build friendships that will become invaluable as you go down this road. You’ve already got some insight, just go with that. 

When reading/listening/learning, just take what feels right to you, what applies to you and leave the rest, not everything applies to all of us etc, but we can learn from each other and support each other :) 

Hi Arlia, I'm a teacher too and self diagnosed.  I get what you mean about social situations vs being a teacher. Different scenarios! Are you female? Look into Sarah Hendrickx she has lots of good youtube talks and books. Maybe speak to your GP. Maybe read up more in AS to see if you think other things fit in your life. The NAS female training module is good.  The more I have read, the more I can see how things "fit" and able to recognise what causes problems. It's also enabled me to understand my thought patterns far more than the CBT sessions I attended. Now I can recognise when I may have miscommunication something or why I feel frustrated. It's quite enlightening when you realise mental health problems might stem from AS. For me because ice managed to understand a lot myself I'm not currently seeking a diagnosis. However if you feel you are struggling and need help then see your GP.  I know others have said before to go "prepared" with why you feel you are AS.

Yes I do think the world is overwhelming too. It seems other people are able to cope better or just don't get bothered by the same things. 

Bset of luck.

It’s good to know that I’m not alone. I had 3 weeks off in November and I was treated as if I had depression/anxiety but I genuinely feel these stem from something else. The scenario was that I sent an email regarding some feedback, my HoD department then kicked off about it and I still don’t understand why. I literally had a melt down because I didn’t know what I had done and went home with a ‘migraine’.

It’s good that your school are supportive. Did you speak to anyone about how you felt at work? I’m not sure who to turn to. 

Thanks

Thank you some much for your warm welcome and kind words. I will definitely follow your advice. I don’t have a great work life balance which isn’t helping matters. I’m trying to address this but it’s challenging. I was off for 3 weeks in November because I had a complete melt down which has been put down to depression but I feel it stemmed from something else, and this came about from a social interaction that went wrong. I’ve tried to talk to people at work but I find it hard to explain how I feel. 

Thank you you again for your response. It means a lot. I just feel lost and unable to cope but speaking to people on here is helping.

I am a teacher too and have experienced similar things. I had to be signed off for six months . I went back 3 days a week and it makes things much better for me. 

My head is really good and since getting my diagnosis has been really supported. 

I have a go to person who helps explain things to me.

Definitely go to your g p and don't be afraid to ask for time off if you need it.

You have come to the right place, your instincts are intact, so please be sure of that, because that’s a big massive bonus. So a big Well Done to you for that and a nice big Aspe Welcome as well. You will always be welcome here, with or without a diagnosis. We might get pedantic about a lot of things, but that isn't one of them, so you are very welcome here.

There are some good books out there on autism and also some really great YouTube videos on some of the distressing aspects of autism, by autistic people, such as the obsessive compulsive catastrophic black and white rigid thinking patterns that many of us have. There is much you can do to begin to understand yourself better, through the framework of autism,  as well as, of course, reading through the posts on here and talking to people on here, as you are doing 

A diagnosis is necessary, for some people, for different reasons, but in terms of doing something about what you are experiencing, a diagnosis isn’t necessary. The most important thing is getting to know yourself better through understanding autism and how it affects you. You’ll find that many of the things you do, that you just thought were you, are actually aspects/traits of autism and with persistence and practice, it is absolutely possible to overcome the distressing or self limiting aspects of autism and to really make the most of the other aspects that can really benefit and enhance our lives.

The diagnosis itself, can be beneficial in itself, for some people, but it’s more about what we do with the diagnosis or new found awareness, that makes all the difference. It’s also very common for undiagnosed adults, to get to a certain point in their life when things appear to be getting worse, but it is usually a sign that our previous coping mechanisms are no longer working as well as they did and we’re starting to unravel, slowly. But you’ve caught it in relatively good time and there is much you can do. So this is good. 

Are you meeting the basic needs such as enough rest and relaxation, time out for fun, fresh air, daily exercise, eating well, sleeping well, good self care? These are always important and you might want to re-jig some of them, in light of new self awareness, but they’re always crucial and we can build on them as our awareness grows. 

You can find information on the main NAS site in NICE guidelines for getting an assessment of autism, as an adult, I’ll see if I can get the link - https://www.autism.org.uk/about/diagnosis/adults.aspx

Take your time, read up, talk to us here and know, that it’s ok, it’s all ok, you've got this, you’re in the right place and things will get better. If you need to, at work, you can let them know you’re exploring the possibility of you being ASD as you have noticed a lot of the things you are experiencing internally, are showing up externally, as problems and they relate very much to what you have learned about ASD. Warmest wishes. 

Thank you for your response. I have completed an online test and scored 36 which indicates that I would be a strong candidate for having Aspergers. 

Thank you for your advice, reading about other people’s stories will probably help a lot. I’ll get to see my GP too. 

Ps I love your profile pic of Starmie. I’m a huge fan of Pokemon. 

I think OrinocoFlo has offered some good advice. It's a good idea to talk to your GP about it. An assessment will be helpful in finding out if you have Aspergers or some other underlying issue that might be causing some of your difficulties. The waiting time for an NHS assessment is unfortunately quite long, and you can consider private assessments or self identification. I agree reading books on Aspergers have been helpful to me as well.

Hi, I think the best thing if you want to find out for sure is to see your GP and tell him or her what you have already said here, and ask for a referral to whatever autism screening centre there is in your county. Have you done an online test for Asperger's? (there's one on the NAS website.) If the results show that you might have it, you could take those along as well.

Having said that, there is usually a long wait for testing on the NHS, often 2 years or more. (I'm waiting for an official assessment myself.) If you can afford it you could go for a private assessment, depending what is available in your area, or you may decide that self diagnosis is sufficient. Also, there are a lot of books available about Asperger's syndrome, including many written by adults diagnosed later in life, and I've personally found it helpful to read those, to look for similarities in my own life and for advice.

I hope this helps. Best wishes.