Hello again dear forum!
The swedish student here again, with a quick question to the community:
Would you feel comfortable making videos of yourself talking about your life, your diagnosis or maybe just about an interest that you have?
If not, what is the main reason behind that? Technological? Communicative? Anxiety of putting yourself "out there"?
Hope you're all having a great weekend! (It's cloudy and rainy in the south of Sweden, but that is typically to be expected)
/ Björn, the bear, Wiberg
I already have. But I'm not saying where or under what name!
Yes, I would feel OK about it. However, I would have to tread very carefully because forgoing my anonymity would also have potential consequences for my sons and wider family. Waving my right to confidentiality might, to some extent, also compromise theirs. I would therefore only like to do it with their knowledge and approval and, as things stand, I wouldn't really have that. Plus we've basically only just been diagnosed so things are settling down. I can't know how we'll feel in a couple of years time.
And there's also the thought that once it's out there, it's out there. Hard to then say, "Oh, i retract that. We're not really an autistic family."
I could write about it under a pseudonym though. With some alterations to basic facts and situations to prevent identification.
I even publish my fiction under a pseudonym.
I find the whole 'ego' thing of "Hey folks, this is me, look at me, here's what I look like, here's my personalised number plate, here's what I've done, here's what I wear, here's how I do my hair, here are my tattoos, please look at me" to be very strange and superficial. And, dare I say it, very NT.
I'd bore everyone to death trying precisely to convey how my mind works and what it means then remember I can't bear people looking at me unless I'm delivering an impersonal PowerPoint on the finer points of human computer interaction or the the creative economy or something and I'd delete the whole thing before I'd got anywhere near figuring out how to communicate my experience of being AS.
I have thought about it, but it isn't at all practical. There is someone in my family who is probably too old ever to be told, who might wrongly blame themselves for something for which there should really be no blame attached. Added to which, the few people who have been told would probably be more comfortable if it is swept under the carpet. Also, it is a taboo subject where I currently live; even amongst subject specialists. That taboo is probably political. i can guess why it works out that way, but no one ever seems even inclined to just say simply to me that my hunch is correct. (They don't need to be any more explicit than that, if they truly need to maintain their security in this rather untransparent society.) I have told a few locally, but again they seem inclined to sweep it under the rug, and in many cases probably probably don't know very much about autism. An extra thing is that my own acceptance/rejection of my own self-identification (and another person's diagnosis/assessment) seems to cycle through both those poles on a daily basis. The general trend is always acceptance at the end of the day, but that constant oscillation leaves me feeling not up to the task of better informing others.