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Does this sound like autism?

saganoren

Sorry if this isn’t the correct place/accepted thing to do. I’m very new to this forum! I’ve posted on a few different forums to get some opinions.

I’m a 24 year old female and thinking I might have autism. I’ve always struggled in life and I don’t really know where to start with explaining everything!


I’ve always always felt like an outsider, like I’m alone and just looking into everyone else’s social interactions. I’ve always had just one close friend at a time because I get so narrow minded that one is enough and I’ve got no energy to stretch to someone else.

The past few years have been hard, I’ve been diagnosed with anxiety and depression but I feel like I’m in a permanent state of low level confusion. Like information is getting muddled between being in the world and then going to my brain. Because of this I make hundreds of lists reminding me to do things and lists of the order to do things. With this structure it stops me becoming so overwhelmed and also saves the hassle of me panicking that I’ve forgotten something.

Normal things like trips to the supermarket or going to work become such a chore because I’m so worried that something unexpected will come up (something as simple as not having a basket available) and I’ll panic and become very stressed. This feeling of being overwhelmed causes a feeling inside me of like a swarm of bees bubbling up from my stomach to my chest and getting higher and higher until I have that feeling in your throat when you know you’re going to cry.

I’m very sentimental, especially with my cuddly toys. I have a group of stuffed animals at the moment who instantly calm me down and they’re my friends in a way. They help me a lot and I’ve got stories and personalities for all of them. I’ve always had this attachment to stuffed animals and it would genuinely kill me if something happened to them. I have hundreds of photos of them on my phone.

Emotionally I’m very fragile, I’ve always been described as sensitive or highly strung. I cry a lot and have panic attacks when sometimes I don’t even know why. I don’t want to go on holidays or go travelling like everyone else my age because I can’t handle the unexpectedness of ‘lets just wing it and see how it goes’. I can’t play anything by ear.

Socially I always feel like I’m being watched in my social interactions and I’m always wondering what the right thing to do in a situation would be. Like someone is talking and I’m thinking ‘now would be the right time to smile’.

Okay that’s just a random ramble off the top of my head but if anyone has any insight/shared experiences, please let me know!

Thank you.

Parents

  • hi,ive only just landed here and am in no way an expert but you share alot of "traits" with me,im late diagnosis 52yrs,ive suffered depression and anxiety most of my remembered life,both side effects of being on the spectrum iirc i feel like an observer,have friends because its less confrontational to say you know what you fall way below my standards i dont need you! please people rather than please yourself,and to think sometimes you might actually deserve a pat on the back.maybe younger people understand their mental health better due to access to information,i went through life with all the signs but with nobody to recieve them,loner,slow learner,solitary hobbies blah blah blah.anyway good luck.   

    sorry should of said i have aspergers ,but also complex p.t.s.d

  • in reply to gordy

    Hi Gordy thank you for replying! Yes I am so easy to cut people out of my life, especially if they do fall below my standards. I also attach on to people very quickly and then get disappointed when they don’t have the same plan for our friendship as I do. 

    I think it’s definitely the case that people are more aware of mental health now and I’m sorry it took you so long to get a diagnosis. 

  • in reply to saganoren

    thats cool saganoren,im glad i got my unproffessional suspitions proffessionally confirmed! if you like.

    i figured that i would have to find a way round my issues but in the end ,ended up conforming to aspergers,self employed carpenter with a fear of phones,always loved making models still do! get annoyed with my mates because of things they do and say but hey better than on your own right!? catch it early and be better prepared for life i think.i struggled with the nhs although my doctor was so good,unfortunatly i she left after 2yrs,i didnt know she was a locum.even privately can be hard as ive experienced sorry negative words,i find myself doing that!

    a few mates said hopefully your not aspergers but i didnt feel it was in any way negative,i have other issues but i found it helpfull.tom i read your comments on another post,you make alot of sense if you dont mind me saying..

  • in reply to saganoren

    yes im in no way condeming anyone for their beliefs,this is only my opinion but i find my logical mind questioning when somebody says something like that.

  • in reply to gordy

    Fantastic!! Carpentry sounds interesting to me because it’s a little bit of creativity mixed with a little bit of logical thinking. That’s my favourite type of thing. I love knitting and cross stitching for the creativity as well as the repetitivity of it. 

    Thats an idea, yeah. Religion generally makes me a bit uncomfortable but I understand that it’s a great help to some.

Reply
  • in reply to gordy

    Fantastic!! Carpentry sounds interesting to me because it’s a little bit of creativity mixed with a little bit of logical thinking. That’s my favourite type of thing. I love knitting and cross stitching for the creativity as well as the repetitivity of it. 

    Thats an idea, yeah. Religion generally makes me a bit uncomfortable but I understand that it’s a great help to some.

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