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Does this sound like autism?

saganoren

Sorry if this isn’t the correct place/accepted thing to do. I’m very new to this forum! I’ve posted on a few different forums to get some opinions.

I’m a 24 year old female and thinking I might have autism. I’ve always struggled in life and I don’t really know where to start with explaining everything!


I’ve always always felt like an outsider, like I’m alone and just looking into everyone else’s social interactions. I’ve always had just one close friend at a time because I get so narrow minded that one is enough and I’ve got no energy to stretch to someone else.

The past few years have been hard, I’ve been diagnosed with anxiety and depression but I feel like I’m in a permanent state of low level confusion. Like information is getting muddled between being in the world and then going to my brain. Because of this I make hundreds of lists reminding me to do things and lists of the order to do things. With this structure it stops me becoming so overwhelmed and also saves the hassle of me panicking that I’ve forgotten something.

Normal things like trips to the supermarket or going to work become such a chore because I’m so worried that something unexpected will come up (something as simple as not having a basket available) and I’ll panic and become very stressed. This feeling of being overwhelmed causes a feeling inside me of like a swarm of bees bubbling up from my stomach to my chest and getting higher and higher until I have that feeling in your throat when you know you’re going to cry.

I’m very sentimental, especially with my cuddly toys. I have a group of stuffed animals at the moment who instantly calm me down and they’re my friends in a way. They help me a lot and I’ve got stories and personalities for all of them. I’ve always had this attachment to stuffed animals and it would genuinely kill me if something happened to them. I have hundreds of photos of them on my phone.

Emotionally I’m very fragile, I’ve always been described as sensitive or highly strung. I cry a lot and have panic attacks when sometimes I don’t even know why. I don’t want to go on holidays or go travelling like everyone else my age because I can’t handle the unexpectedness of ‘lets just wing it and see how it goes’. I can’t play anything by ear.

Socially I always feel like I’m being watched in my social interactions and I’m always wondering what the right thing to do in a situation would be. Like someone is talking and I’m thinking ‘now would be the right time to smile’.

Okay that’s just a random ramble off the top of my head but if anyone has any insight/shared experiences, please let me know!

Thank you.

Parents

  • Hi saganoren,

    Lots of identification from me, too.

    Have you tried taking the AQ test?  It's not a diagnostic tool, but is specially formulated to help give an indication of the possibility of autism.  It's 50 questions, and doesn't take too long to do.  It's a standard pre-diagnosis test.   A score of 30 is usually the benchmark.  Above 32 is strongly suggestive of autism.

    It's here:

    AQ test

    Also, you might find this to be helpful.  It gives a long list of traits.  I found myself checking most of them - even though I'm male!  I was finally diagnosed 4 years ago, aged 56, after a lifetime of the kinds of issues you've mentioned.

    Aspiengirls: Moving Towards an Adult Female Profile of Autism/Asperger's Syndrome

  • in reply to Martian Tom

    just reading that link....love this quote:

    Research shows that everybody has Autistic traits. Out of a 100 piece jigsaw puzzle, everybody on the planet has a couple or a few pieces. Those that have 60 pieces would be said to have Broader Autism Phenotype (BAP) and those with 80 or more pieces are diagnosable or diagnosed with the condition

  • in reply to Bagpuss7

    oh this is so me:

    Social Anxiety leading to Social Phobia: Overanalyzing social interactions where they overthink (on a ‘loop’), about what they said, did, did not say, should have said or not said and what they wished they should have said. On the other side of this is continual stressing about what the other person is thinking of them. This is usually done to the extreme that it can be incapacitating for the person.

  • in reply to Bagpuss7

    ooh and these:

    Difficulties communicating her thoughts and feelings, in words, to others, especially if anxious, stressed or upset. Often can type or write her thoughts much better

    May dislike asking others for help, be unable to ask or not know how to ask for help

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