**** I have edited my topic, because original one could be mis interpreted

Hi Random

I also had immense problems at work which took well over two years to finally get sorted.

How things got better can be put down to my support worker funded by Access to Work.  I would advise anyone with problems such as you describe to contact Access to Work as a matter of priority.  Their purpose is to keep you in work.  Disciplinary measures and performance reviews will only set you up to fail.  What you need is help and understanding, not targets, disciplinaries or performance proceures, work-plans and heavy monitoring.  You need space to breathe and the recognition that you are  valued member of staff.

Access to work can provide funding for such things as training for staff and a support worker for you for one or two sessions per month.  The training for managers and work colleagues is essential as it will explain the difficulties you face and also what should be done to help you in such circumstances that your tongue becomes 'sharp' or 'blunt' and words spring forth which are seemingly inappropriate.  It should explain you are the way you are not because you are being objectionable but because it you find it very difficult or impossible to be anything else.  Autism is an impairment and it does not have a 'cure' - masking is not a cure, it is just something autistic people do at great expense to their mental health as a means to appear normal, and how it manifests itself is in stress, anxiety and depression.  Of course, you would have to agree to this training being given first as it will be about you, but for me it wasn't embarrassing - for a start I was not present at the time and when I did return all as I got from colleagues was very positive support.

My support worker is a great help.  She attends my monthly supervisions (supervisions are given to all staff and it is supposedly a time when you can talk frankly to the manager, I learned that this was not so no matter what the intention was stated to be, but I digress).  She also acts as an intermediary when there are any problems and ensures they are not the start of performance or disciplinary procedures.  It is now a year since I had one of the 'little chats' about some issue or other that managers at my workplace are prone to do, basically the first step to a disciplinary.  At my annual review I was told (now this is a surprise!) how much better my work was now I was left to get on with it by myself.  And I would imagine there are a lot of people for whom that could be said.

I would also suggest anytime you are called into a meeting about a disciplinary or performance matter you write notes, and as soon as possible after the meeting, you email them to yourself on a contunal email stream. (In other words keep replying to the email yourself).  You might want to set up an email account exclusively for this.  You can add thoughts when you are having difficulty at work due to getting stressed and what caused this and how you felt and how things could have been done differently by management to prevent when certain remarks have been made to you.  All this could be valuable evidence in a grievance process or ultimately at a tribunal.  Any notes you get from your manager as a result of a meeting you should give a response to.  In my experience the notes are very one sided, so you should elaborate on any criticism made by you in order to explain any behaviour and provide mitigating circustances.

I would also recommend you do not attend a meeting with your manager which could result in a disciplinary or performance review without being accompanied.  You are entitled to take a work colleague or union rep with you (if you are a member of a union) and having someone with you can provide collaborative evidence in the case of a dispute.  Remember any notes made by management will be biased as will the way any evidence is used.  You need all the help you can get.

Make sure all requests for information are made in writing, preferably by email.You will then have a record of the request and any reply you get.  Failure to provide information when asked for could be grounds for a grievance.  If information is not forthcoming, state in a following email that you might pursue a grievance if the information is not forthcoming.  Treating you differently in an adverse way is discrimination under the equality act - once again add occasions this happens to your email trail to yourself. 

Your first and most important step though is to contact Access to Work.  You could have something in place within six to eight weeks and a support worker is one thing which can prevent performance improvement plans, disciplinaries and misunderstandings of your condition.  The support worker will be from a charity approved by Access to Work, Remploy appear to be the default provider, but you could research if there is a local specialist autism charity in your area which provides help under access to work.

Access to work is found at:

https://www.gov.uk/access-to-work

the process is quite easy and even answering the questions is a way that shows you have misunderstood them could provide more evidence of your need.

Hope things improve for you.

Thanks for your time in your long and detailed post

I have applied to access to work, I do have a support worker from remploy. I am not finding I am supported very much, I don't feel that's down to her, mostly down to my employer. I have found a wonderful resource available very close to my work, and should have access to it through access to work. I have hit barriers with having to break down tasks required, and getting 3 quotes from alternative providers. I have not been able to find alternative providers I had not been provided with any details before a week ago to break down the tasks. The situation caused me a lot of distress and compounded my health problems during my six months sick leave.

I did suggest it separately to work, and they said they would look in to it. My support worker repeated situation with access to work, and feel my employer is just going to ignore it. Most things my support worker have raised, work have ignored or been inflexible with.

Even after my post last night things have deteriorated with another two conflicts with HR. one of those emails I was trying to explain how my anxiety is affecting my communication, and how their processes are feeding in to my anxiety. I have only just recently been able to arrange a colleague to attend

I have had a sleepless night, and I just feel crippled with stress at the moment. I made a phone call to employee assistance, but asked to call back again. For most of the day I have been curled up on the sofa, eyes closed, constantly thinking about situation. I don't feel hungry, its like I'm asleep, but I am not in any part relaxed and fully alert, does not feel restful.

I should have a crisis team available, but out of hours, I have to access A&E. I did it once before and it was an absolutely horrendous ordeal, I feel my mental health is rapidly deteriorating at the moment

I only have a few days to find a solution

Random

Thanks for your time in your long and detailed post

I have applied to access to work, I do have a support worker from remploy. I am not finding I am supported very much, I don't feel that's down to her, mostly down to my employer. I have found a wonderful resource available very close to my work, and should have access to it through access to work. I have hit barriers with having to break down tasks required, and getting 3 quotes from alternative providers. I have not been able to find alternative providers I had not been provided with any details before a week ago to break down the tasks. The situation caused me a lot of distress and compounded my health problems during my six months sick leave.

I did suggest it separately to work, and they said they would look in to it. My support worker repeated situation with access to work, and feel my employer is just going to ignore it. Most things my support worker have raised, work have ignored or been inflexible with.

Even after my post last night things have deteriorated with another two conflicts with HR. one of those emails I was trying to explain how my anxiety is affecting my communication, and how their processes are feeding in to my anxiety. I have only just recently been able to arrange a colleague to attend

I have had a sleepless night, and I just feel crippled with stress at the moment. I made a phone call to employee assistance, but asked to call back again. For most of the day I have been curled up on the sofa, eyes closed, constantly thinking about situation. I don't feel hungry, its like I'm asleep, but I am not in any part relaxed and fully alert, does not feel restful.

I should have a crisis team available, but out of hours, I have to access A&E. I did it once before and it was an absolutely horrendous ordeal, I feel my mental health is rapidly deteriorating at the moment

I only have a few days to find a solution

Random

Ignoring the advice of the support worker would give grounds for a grievance.

This would be on the basis of the equality act, not providing reasonable adjustments, discrimination as well as exacerbating stress in an individual they know is liable to it.

This could also eventually lead to Early Concilliation proceedings and a tribunal (there are time limits for these of three months from the event minus one day, but Early Concilliation (which you have to go through first) will 'stop the clock' for the time it takes.  But you have to remember that such action as this is not something to go into without thinking of the repercussions.  Your employer could possibly offer you a sum of money to leave and drop the case.  You would have to think carefully about this.  And a tribunal is a very long process with no guarantee of success no matter what you think the chances may be.

However, your employer should investigate a grievance professionally and without malice, and this is more likely to be the case if your employer is a large employer.  But don't forget that if you have worked for less than two years for an employer, your employer can dismiss you without giving a reason unless you could prove it was discriminatory.  And your employer if they wanted to get rid of you would swear blind it was for other reasons.