I give up

Whatever I do people won't engage with me. I'm always the odd one out. Nobody wants to participate in projects I suggest. I've been disliked by people all my life.

I was a full-on alcoholic for 10 years and am now on an electronic tag and have been threatened with prison if I get into more trouble. 

I have no choice but to stop drinking even though it's the only thing I can think of to take away this awful feeling of hopelessness.

Everything I've done has been a failure. A novel I wrote, portraits I painted, volunteering I engaged in. Whatever I've done I've never left an impression on anybody, never mattered, never known romance, or true friendship.

Some people don't fit in at all and it seems I'm one of them. I don't know what else to say. Just that I feel nobody has ever represented me. I've written to MPs, asked various people for help, put my views across in the novel, it's not got me anywhere. In the end it seems the majority, the mob will always win, if you're an outsider like me, nothing I care about or feel matters.

Parents
  • Hey, mate... stick with us.  I know something about that.  Had my run-ins with the booze and lost a lot  in my life because of it.  Struggling now not to drink when it's sometimes the only thing to fill the emptiness.  I wrote a novel that got nowhere.  I've started jobs that have fallen apart on day one.  I've never felt like I've fitted in anywhere - except with my work with the learning disabled.  They've taught me more than many 'normal' people have.

    It feels like the majority always wins.  But don't let them.  Keep coming here.  We'll engage with you.

    We know what it's like.

    Comfort in numbers, mate.

    Tom

  • Sounds just like me and I've started writing my book as I have been in deep trouble as no one seemed to understand my thinking. Was arrested and more. 

    We all have to soldier on though, if you can, but I suspect this is a major reason for ASD suicides (hope this isn't inappropriate to say)

  • Don't worry about mentioning suicide, it's best people openly discuss things.

    I would agree with you that trouble with the law has a link to suicides. I've read one or two stories in the newspapers over the years about people who killed themselves in prison or after being arrested, who were either socially isolated people, or people actually diagnosed on the spectrum.

    I also know from doing a bit of research that self-harm among prisoners is well above the national average.

    But yeah you're right we need to soldier on, I wish you the best of luck with your book too.

Reply
  • Don't worry about mentioning suicide, it's best people openly discuss things.

    I would agree with you that trouble with the law has a link to suicides. I've read one or two stories in the newspapers over the years about people who killed themselves in prison or after being arrested, who were either socially isolated people, or people actually diagnosed on the spectrum.

    I also know from doing a bit of research that self-harm among prisoners is well above the national average.

    But yeah you're right we need to soldier on, I wish you the best of luck with your book too.

Children