I give up

Whatever I do people won't engage with me. I'm always the odd one out. Nobody wants to participate in projects I suggest. I've been disliked by people all my life.

I was a full-on alcoholic for 10 years and am now on an electronic tag and have been threatened with prison if I get into more trouble. 

I have no choice but to stop drinking even though it's the only thing I can think of to take away this awful feeling of hopelessness.

Everything I've done has been a failure. A novel I wrote, portraits I painted, volunteering I engaged in. Whatever I've done I've never left an impression on anybody, never mattered, never known romance, or true friendship.

Some people don't fit in at all and it seems I'm one of them. I don't know what else to say. Just that I feel nobody has ever represented me. I've written to MPs, asked various people for help, put my views across in the novel, it's not got me anywhere. In the end it seems the majority, the mob will always win, if you're an outsider like me, nothing I care about or feel matters.

Parents
  • Hey, mate... stick with us.  I know something about that.  Had my run-ins with the booze and lost a lot  in my life because of it.  Struggling now not to drink when it's sometimes the only thing to fill the emptiness.  I wrote a novel that got nowhere.  I've started jobs that have fallen apart on day one.  I've never felt like I've fitted in anywhere - except with my work with the learning disabled.  They've taught me more than many 'normal' people have.

    It feels like the majority always wins.  But don't let them.  Keep coming here.  We'll engage with you.

    We know what it's like.

    Comfort in numbers, mate.

    Tom

  • Thanks Tom. 

    Good to know I'm not the only one craving alcohol sometimes.

    I'm not sure how to phrase this but I like how you come across, I pick up warmth from you. 

    I hope you find success if you carry on writing. I still keep occasionally giving a copy of my book to people in the hope I'll get discovered. One can dream!

  • I always warm to a kindred spirit, mate.  And I like the note of optimism in your last paragraph because it gives me hope, too.  See... this is how we help each other through this life.  Try not to worry about what others think. 

    Don't give up.  Do your own thing, in spite of what it feels like you've got stacked against you.

    There's nothing wrong with us.  We're different, that's all.

Reply
  • I always warm to a kindred spirit, mate.  And I like the note of optimism in your last paragraph because it gives me hope, too.  See... this is how we help each other through this life.  Try not to worry about what others think. 

    Don't give up.  Do your own thing, in spite of what it feels like you've got stacked against you.

    There's nothing wrong with us.  We're different, that's all.

Children
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