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Finding People Difficult To Be Around, Even When i Know I'm The Problem (Selective Mutism/Workplace Issues)

NAS39237
over 5 years ago

Hi,

I've had a lousy day at work today, for no real reason other than the usual tension I feel around people. At my work I'm in a warehouse with another colleague and we've had big arguments in the past and from the experience I find it excruciating to be around them - I feel tension from the moment he walks in the room until I and breath sigh of relief when he is gone.

I find i have only a certain amount of tolerance for people and if I end up getting upset too often, i can no longer be open with them about anything - A strong case of Selective Mutism. I really cannot communicate with them in any measure, besides the minimal, mandatory  words I need to express over the job itself.

The problem is, I can never forgive! Once I've been pushed too far I simply cannot go back to conversing with that person in any manner. So as soon as I have this happen within a working environment it goes downhill and becomes a a very repressed place to be - Which I know I am the main offender in causing such an issue. It's just getting really bad now, tonight the feeling of being just run down and not wanting to be around anyway transitioned into home too - I'm finding just being around people to be very hard work.

I'm still waiting on my diagnosis (Been nearly a year now) and I already feel I have plenty of social debilitations - Poor Eye Contact, Narrow Subject Matters of Interest, Confusion on jokes etc. In most of my working experience I can seem normal but the cracks soon begin to show and when it does that's where I struggle - Maintaining Bonds within a working environment is the hardest part of the job for me. It's got to the point where I have no faith in looking for further employment as I feel this problem will effect any future position I obtain.

Parents
  • over 5 years ago

    I had this problem with a manager at my last job - he was a habitual liar and his whole management style was to agree with everything and then never delivered anything.  He thought he could just kick every problem down the road and hope that no-one every chased anything.

    His strategy worked well with sloppy, forgetful NTs but not with me.   He promised all sorts of things and then when I reminded him of his promises, he'd just say we'll get together to discuss it - and then cancel the meeting at the last moment because 'something came up'.   These promises were in writing in my perfomance appraisal so he was just being lazy.  It got to the point where I just couldn't deal with him as everything that came out of his mouth was a lie.

    I hated having to even to speak to him to be polite - everything in my brain was shouting F*** OFF.  It was extremely difficult to stop myself saying what was on my mind so I avoided him at all costs.

  • over 5 years ago in reply to Plastic

    That's so annoying.  One of the things I can't stand is bad managers.  If you're paid to be a manager you should have a basic understanding of managing people.  Micromanaging is just control freak insecurity and completely counter productive, incompetence is just incompetence, and shouldn't be tolerated.  It's poor management by everyone.  The managers themselves and their managers for promoting them and not giving effective management guidance.  When I get a bad manager I struggle to even say hello each day...like you, my head is screaming F*** OFF over and over.

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  • over 5 years ago in reply to Plastic

    That's so annoying.  One of the things I can't stand is bad managers.  If you're paid to be a manager you should have a basic understanding of managing people.  Micromanaging is just control freak insecurity and completely counter productive, incompetence is just incompetence, and shouldn't be tolerated.  It's poor management by everyone.  The managers themselves and their managers for promoting them and not giving effective management guidance.  When I get a bad manager I struggle to even say hello each day...like you, my head is screaming F*** OFF over and over.

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