Troubling stats

Thanks Jenny Butterfly. It’s a very balanced article. 

I also noticed this:

www.psychologytoday.com/.../whats-next-autistic-adults

and especially the statement, "We have no idea who most autistic adults are, so we have no basis for any accurate claims about the prospects for autistic adults as a whole".  Sounds about right.

My family is riddled with risky behaviours, as is much of the rest of society. Not all can be down to ASD.   Some people just do things. We can only do what we can. I’m  off now. Goodnight

I’m aware it would be very unwise of me to take illicit drugs. Poverty has been my main protection! And I’m too mean to fork out a fortune for a temporary fix. I’m off now. Goodnight. 

Yes, I think that increased self knowledge is likely to help.  I don't think I was a suicide risk at any point but various behaviours - avoidance, self medicating in various ways for anxiety and a certain unpredictable streak - didn't exactly help me in life.  

Several members of my wider family have clear traits and some have some worrying tendencies thrown in too.  Their risks are unquantifiable but to my mind very much apparent.  

Rip Van Wrinkle said:

Suicidal flashes.

I  know about those.  I get them more and more frequently.  Tied in with all kinds of complex stuff.  It's why it's important for me to quit the booze.  One drop too much one day could lead me to a dangerous place. I always try to stay aware of that, and drinking numbs that awareness.

To be honest JennyButterfly, I think my own risk has gone down since being diagnosed. My family have very strong traits and an even stronger aversion to doctors etc. So nobody else has been diagnosed. It's the very reason I pushed for diagnosis. Suicidal flashes. Nobody else in the family gets them, as far as I know. And my suicidal tendencies could be the result of PTSD from childhood trauma, so nothing is straightforward in my family. I am convinced we are a strongly autistic family, which is more obvious in the younger generations now, but I am only diagnosed because I also have suicidal tendencies that I want to overcome. Like yourself, I am concerned about undiagnosed autistics who need support and cannot access it. 

I'd say those things are my only focus.  But when the service users arrive and I'm in their world, the rest of the world kind of fades away.

I'm writing a novel which is going off at all kinds of tangents and doesn't really have a plot, so I don't know how or where... or even if it will end.  But it's about all of these issues we talk about on these forums.  What it's like to feel like a lone voice.  What it's like to try to understand something that seems inexplicable enough to me... so what chance has the rest of the world got?  It keeps me out of trouble!

The old "Everyone has their struggles" - a statement which seeks to minimise then ignore any issues.  The workplace can be a particular course of stress and anxiety.  In one office I took my manager aback when I referred to a "seething cauldron of discontent".  And she laughed, although I really wasn't joking.  

Sometimes the best way through is by focussing on the time outside work.  Cats and gardening have been particularly helpful in my case.  

Daisy.  She's a rescue.  I got her not long before mum fell ill in her final decline.  She gave mum a lot of pleasure in those final months (I moved in temporarily as full-time carer, and Daisy came with me).  She kind of got me through it.  And she continues to.

Ah, the butterfly fascination.  I could see the assessor's ears pricking up when we came to that.  :)

What's your cat's name? Cats are lovely company. 

Of course, my real worry won't be reflected in the stats as it can't possibly have been picked up.  It might affect a lot of my family too.  And it's this - If you're an undiagnosed autistic, what are your risks then?  

I feel pretty much the same - though it's still a struggle to get taken seriously.  At work, especially.  I don't like to say things.  It's not so much about being ignored or feeling a 'nuisance', but getting that blank response that often comes: 'Everyone has their struggles...'

I keep going, wishing the days would speed up so that I could retire.  Finding reasons to keep looking ahead. 

Sad though it may sound, it's honest.  After mum passed away, and with the problems I've had in the workplace in the last few months, if it hadn't been that I had my cat to be responsible for, I could easily have just given up and let go.  Sometimes, you need something like that.  Some kind of reason outside of yourself.  What would happen to her if anything happened to me?  So I keep that in mind.... and that gives me a stepping stone to the next thing.

On the other side of that, if anything happened to her now, it could be very difficult.

I haven't got a word for my response! What a dumb way of dealing with what they see as a problem! Jenny B if they did that to me I would hit the bottle! (With no previous alcohol problem). As Martian Tom said,  they want to treat a symptom without addressing the cause. A bit like giving painkillers for an infected appendix. I like your name, by the way. Butterflies fascinate me. 

That's probably why they like to check if certain difficulties were there from childhood. Just to check it's not a recent acquisition, like a designer tee shirt. And if anyone else says that, it is literal ignorance. I'm afraid I am quite tough with myself as I realise there is little support to be had. Except here. I'm afraid in this world not all disabilities, and not all ages either, are seen as equal. I do feel like I'm on the ultraviolet part of the spectrum. But I have to count my blessings. Life has taught me to survive. I am able to do most things for myself. And as I get older, I no longer care what most other people think of me. What they think is their problem, not mine. I'd like to help others. I'd like for them not to have to go through what I did. I'd like to know other people feel the same way. At the same time, I acknowledge the many problems we have encountered, and still do. I get depressed too. Ain't nobody else going to dig me out of the holes I get myself into. Maybe someone will give me a bigger spade. 

Indeed.  What I need, of course, is individually tailored support, but that's not on the menu.  

I have a long history with drugs such as Frisium, Propanalol and various SSRIs.  I even pinched some of my dad's Valium when I was 16 and had to do a presentation in class.  When I mustered up the courage to complain about nerves or anxiety, I was told I was just "being silly"!  That was as far as "help" went in the 70s.  

The thing is, though, it's not much better now.

Yes, I think they really believe that.  Tees, Esk and Wear Valley state it on their website, after all.  Although i have my doubts about their stats, to me this still means that this increased risk should be met with an appropriate level of care. 

What I was getting at was that if they're saying that genes are the main factor then presumably in their eyes the undiagnosed members of my family would be at significant additional risk.  To many that would be a call to action.  And yet they do nothing.  

Which is precisely not what you're doing.  Instead of making an informed decision to continue drinking, you're basically being told 'we can't offer you what you need.'  Disgraceful.

My GP dispenses a week's supply of Diazepam to me every now and then.  She's reluctant, though, because she says 'They're addictive.'  Well, guess what?  So's wine and whisky and beer, too.  Which is better?

I spoke to her about trying Propranolol again - though I don't remember it making much difference last time I was on it.

Yes, I recently came up against this very problem.  When asked about drinking habits it seems my wine consumption is a little over the top.  "Did I want help with this?" I was asked.  "Well, yes." I replied, "But not if you're just going to give me advice on numbers of units and alternative beverages.  Only if I can have support, advice and guidance on mitigating or coping with the various drivers in my life that mean I feel a strong need to drink."  I got referred back to the care of my GP with a note on my file stating that I am making an informed decision to continue drinking!