Part of the problem for Autistic people

I’m the same, very few friends but more male friends then female as I feel I can get on better with males. 

I dont do banter, criticism or sarcasm it mixes my head up and causes anxiety.

My social skills are “you take me as I come” 

Unfortunately, due to the rather sheltered life I have led, I have always been very slow to understand 'blokey humour'. 

I have been the butt of jokes which I just did not understand for a lot of my life. And I have got into trouble for repeating them when I didn't know what they meant.

So I do understand the so-called political correctness.  Jokes made in a personal way at someone elses expense are crass, not funny.  It certainly did not help me socialise, in fact it helped isolate me further.

Over the years I learned to alter my speech patterns & behaviour depending on the social environment, with regard to 'Toxic Masculinity' though, I always maintain my own personal set of 'Prime Directives' which define boundaries that I will not cross or even tolerate in others, e.g. I will always object to casual racism, even if it causes arguments.

I suppose the degree to which you can adapt your behviour to fit in depends on your personal set of 'Prime Directives', but quite often when people complain about 'Political Correctness' they are trying to justify anachronistic bad behaviour that has thankfully been deemed unacceptable.

I had no school friends at Secondary School, so I never acquired the 'Peer Pressure' meme. As an adult, if I alter my identity to fit in with a given social group it is through personal choice & if they cross boundaries I cannot accept, I will detach myself from the group very quickly.

I disagree with the idea that all 'Blokey Humour' is inherently bad though, you just need to learn to compromise & have a laugh whilst still sticking to your own moral principles. If people behave too objectionably & refuse to change, then clearly that isn't the right social group for you.

Ha. I teach it. Social skills differ in different countries. Don't use monosyllables, use short answers such as 'yes I do,' add a bit more information, talk about your flight, the weather and avoid politics, sex and religion. Use My Fair Lady with advanced students to illustrate how not to do small talk. 

I've thought about "blokey"-ness a lot & I've come to the conclusion that I hate it and if that's what's needed in order to have male friends then I'd rather do without them. Before I had even considered ASD for me, I was aware that each time I was off work with "depression" I was railing against the male-dominated workplace that I work in (engineering).

I still have no male friends & only a few female ones - but I find female company so much easier than male (& this isn't anything sexual!).

It may well be that engaging in "banter" would result in some superficial male "attachments" but it's not something I'd want to engage in.

This may be about banter rather than typical masculine blokey stuff.

I think you can be given advice etc but its still hard to pick up on the nuances. You cant get this out of a book.

Honestly? I think "a certain kind of blokey humour" is probably not acceptable these days full stop...

The moves against 'toxic masculinity' plus zero-tolerance on sexist behaviour combined with the tendency of atypicals not to know where the boundaries lie probably mean that avoiding 'blokey humour' in any situation is best.

There must be another way to become accepted?