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Early stages of dating

NAS51381

Hi

I've been dating someone for 5 months who I believe displays some aspergers characteristics and I'm not sure how best to manage the situation. 

He is highly intelligent when it comes to his job (fintech) but completely ignorant about other things I would deem common knowledge. He gets obsessed over certain things, e.g.. will repeat same recipe over and over. His flat is immaculate and contains virtually no personal items ie photos, books, if it doesn't have a function he can't see the point of it. He owns ear defenders to block out noise and gets very agitated if interrupted at work.  He is excruciatingly polite and doesnt do sarcasm/irony. On the flip side, he is very open about his feelings, honest, thoughtful, empathetic, generous and tactile. Without a doubt the kindest man i have ever dated. He acknowledges he's always been different but when I suggested he may have some autistic characteristics he was initially v upset and now makes jokes e.g. well that's probably because I'm autistic. 

My concern is I have a daughter (10) and he is very anxious around children with little to no experience or understanding of them. To date I have kept their world's separate but if we want to progress our relationship they will need to integrate and I'm apprehensive about that without understanding more. I don't know whether to broach the subject again or just take it slow and see how things play out. Any advice much appreciated. Thanks

  • Has he had previous relationships?  If so, what caused the endings? Were too many things demanded of him? 

    If he wears his heart on his sleeve, can you be as completely open and honest as him?  Do you need the complexity (and lies/BS) of normal men?

    Are you very social and do you need lots of friends?  It's likely that he might not need more than a few friends to satisfy his social life.

    My daughter was the reason I got diagnosed because I couldn't keep up with her constant changing as she grew up (from about 8-upwards).

    What sort of interaction will your daughter need?

  • in reply to Thoughts and Prayers

    You misunderstand me. He is fully aware that I have a daughter, I have simply not yet introduced them as I don't want to disrupt my daughter's life by introducing someone into it if there isn't a long term future. This is my stance for any relationship and I'm sorry if you disagree with this view. I do not expect any man to provide for us, i do this myself.

  • NAS51381 said:
    I have kept their world's separate but if we want to progress our relationship they will need to integrate

    Who's gonna provide for the mother and child? It would be abominable to condemn a man for existing, if he chooses not to fulfill a single mother's needs.

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