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Aspergers Traits Developing more Over Time + Career Concerns

NAS39237


I'm still on the waiting list in regarding my diagnosis, but I have noticed that over time my Aspergers 'traits' have become more apparent (Especially regarding Social Anxiety & Low Self-Esteem), I know that even a few years ago it was not as apparent and I'm sort of getting concerned.

I've been stuck in the same retail job for nearly 4 years now and it's been something I always resented - Prior to this I had 2 year worth of unemployment from getting fired from my last job due to Asperger Traits causing a problem. I've been looking for positions within the last 4-5 months and had little success - One I really thought I had a shot at and I didn't even get an interview which really disheartened me that I didn't even get a chance.

I'm scared that I'm simply not going to get anywhere and I really don't want to cling onto this job forever as it's really taking it's toll on me. Short summary - I feel shame working there and as it is a retail position the store is open to anyone to walk in, which can lead to severe panic attacks if I encounter someone from the past who recognises me.  It's also just a lousy working atmosphere, my debilitated social skills are apparent and I don't really get one with anyone there - I can manage brief interaction with customers but I always struggle with colleagues as after time they see my debilitations.

I honestly don't know what i even can do career-wise... I fear due to my Aspergers traits, that any job I enter with other people will end up being a struggle. At the moment I am looking for employment within a Charity store, as that sounds pretty low-key, but of course they're few and far between due to the majority of the work force being volunteers - I already volunteer with a Charity but not a retail store.

I'm also looking into expanding my own drawing - I've already got a few projects on the go, but am feeling incompetent. I've done concept art designs in the past, which get the idea from head to paper, but I am struggling in being content with producing a finalised piece of work that I feel is worthy - I've done the sketches which I am happy with, but struggling with the colouring process. I'm also uneasy about where to go next, as I am a relatively private person who doesn't do social media stuff - I can see myself setting up a website and things but it's all just a bit overwhelming - In the sense of my self-esteem and pushing my work out there,

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  • Thanks for the responses Slight smile

    I think the problem I am having is that I don't come off as quirky, it seems more so that my social anxiety has also gained momentum recently too and these factors are just making things much worse - The mixture of Aspergers and Social Anxiety is really making it hard to manage being around people, like I said before I can make a decent enough first impression but after being around me for a while the cracks begin to show. I've noticed when I feel pressure at work which happens more frequently too, I get agitated quick, stim by rubbing my hands together and just feel like I'm a wreck. Reflecting in all my previous work placements it's been the same problem, I can get on with the job but being around the same people who I can't maintain any decent bonds with makes it a very nauseating experience - But I feel right now, it's even more apparent.

    @ Graham, thanks for the support :) It's something I'm working on but if I am going to proceed with it, I can't see myself working for other people - I simply don't have the confidence in my own abilities for that. I have recently bought a drawing monitor which I am hoping I can adapt to well.

    As for CBT, I have been twice and none of the advisor ever mentioned Aspergers to me. I would go there and be able to let off a lot of steam but overall nothing progressed from it.

Reply

  • Thanks for the responses Slight smile

    I think the problem I am having is that I don't come off as quirky, it seems more so that my social anxiety has also gained momentum recently too and these factors are just making things much worse - The mixture of Aspergers and Social Anxiety is really making it hard to manage being around people, like I said before I can make a decent enough first impression but after being around me for a while the cracks begin to show. I've noticed when I feel pressure at work which happens more frequently too, I get agitated quick, stim by rubbing my hands together and just feel like I'm a wreck. Reflecting in all my previous work placements it's been the same problem, I can get on with the job but being around the same people who I can't maintain any decent bonds with makes it a very nauseating experience - But I feel right now, it's even more apparent.

    @ Graham, thanks for the support :) It's something I'm working on but if I am going to proceed with it, I can't see myself working for other people - I simply don't have the confidence in my own abilities for that. I have recently bought a drawing monitor which I am hoping I can adapt to well.

    As for CBT, I have been twice and none of the advisor ever mentioned Aspergers to me. I would go there and be able to let off a lot of steam but overall nothing progressed from it.

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