Hello I am 32 and I have been claiming benefits since around 2012. I am scared to lose it as it is my main income as i need to pay for rent and what not.
I have worked on the side for people (helped them cleaned the gardens) and i went to college but at the end of the course they told me to quit and i did so (due to my breakdown), this was around 2007.
I struggle mentally and had to take meds and i had to move out from my mum and dad as it was unfair to them.
I am afraid to lose my benefits and be forced to work and have another breakdown. I dont think im capable of working as im no good around peaple that have no understanding of my disability.
I just dont want be another statistic of people dying due to losing their money.
I did a small volunteer job at a place that helped people with disabilities. I stopped going and wanted to go back but it is shut down. I would rather do a voluntary job then a paid job with people with no understanding. But im not sure could even stick that, i did stop going as it was not holding my interest but now i regret that.
I have no valuable certificate or knowledge for a job just the very basics. I struggled at school, doing special needs class and i had to have a speech therapist when very young.
Another thing I was living my life isolated only going out to my mums but im trying at least go out doing things like arts and crafts sort of things.
I feel differnt to people and still cant make a connection with people even with aspergers.
I have never had a partners in my life but im not sure i ever will as there is no one compatible with me and i am a virgin. but im think im fine with that, sex is no big deal to me. I think good friends are enough but that is even hard to find.
Am I bad and selfish person by the way i think? I know a lot of people will call me a loser, which i had plenty of that when i was younger. Even what i been through i dont hate anyone and i really like my support workers but can get a bit bitter when feeling down.
