High functioning / ‘mild’ autism - can we have another term

I can definitely relate to most of your comments above. I wasn't diagnosed until a couple of years ago at age 55 & really wish that it had been identified earlier.

I used to think that I couldn't be on the Spectrum because I am 'High Functioning', can read body language quite well, very much enjoy socialising & generally pass for normal most of the time. As with your comment above though, it doesn't take long for people to notice that I am a bit strange compared to them.

Had I known when I was much younger, I wouldn't have wasted most of my life trying to create new versions of myself in order to belong within given social groups, but still always feeling like an outsider. Nowadays, I quite happily tell people & enjoy challenging their preconceptions about people on the Spectrum. I think they are generally happier to accept a bit of strangeness when they have an explanation. Obviously there will always be some people who cling to their negative stereotypes, but I am too old to care about their opinions any more.

Even two years after my diagnosis though, I am still trying to understand exactly what it means for me. Probably because I spent so much of my life trying to be a chameleon of sorts, I have a very confused sense of self. It's impossible for me to unpick which parts of my identity are due to being on the Spectrum & which parts are just supposed to be 'me',  whatever that is!

Hi

i really agree with you and I’m very much in the same boat. I paid for a private assessment and received a diagnosis 3 years ago at the age of 45. Despite this, I still feel the same as you describe. People try to suggest that I’m not really autistic as though it will cheer me up. I’m comfortable with the diagnosis but frustrated that others don’t accept it as they can’t see it.  if the symptoms of ASD in high-functioning women fit you, and you find comfort/explanation in them- give yourself permission to accept them and have the confidence to try and help others understand why it is important to you. You are not a fraud, I’m sure you are an extremely capable, intelligent person - if you feel like you’re autistic then you probably are! 

Best wishes

Autism is a word for the condition that affects us.  It can affect us in many different ways.  Whatever word was used for this condition, it would be used derogatarily and to judge us.  I don't have any problem with the words autistic or autism or the fact that there are different ways we are affected.

I have a greater problem with the terms 'mild', 'severe', 'slight' or 'major' autism.  These tend to make others think that we either don't need any help at all so our needs are dismissed, or that we have no abilities so our skills aren't recognised.  I don't feel that I am 'slightly' affected - sometimes I suffer bouts of deep depression and anxiety, I can feel that I want to escape the world and others find me impossible to be with or console.  I can misunderstand what others are saying, respond in supposedly inappropriate ways and retreat to a world where no one else is welcome.  Yet I am 'high functioning' and appear 'normal' to many others on initial acquaintance but soon appear as 'strange' to them.

A diagnosis goes a long way to helping explain to oneself the reasons for one's behaviour.  Being diagnosed left me with a feeling of relief on one hand, but also a feeling of the missed opportunities I had in my younger life and a feeling of 'what might have been'.  But I am glad I had the diagnosis because of all the things it helps explain.

In theory I like the idea of another term, but the truth is the reason we want that is because of stigma, socially and maybe personally too. When/if that stigma goes then it'll be less important that we are in a group of folks some of whom struggle with life more than others. 

Saying that isn't there that phrase, Neuro typical, what's the opposite of that?  

Thanks Andrew, I will look out the book.  I'm relatively new to the forum but I've been doing my own research into ASD  (since it was suggested I had Asperger's, a now defunct definition), many web sites and books and many not applicable to how I present.. So, I welcome any recommendations.

I can relate to what you are saying. It is difficult to a) define oneself and b) explain oneself to others.

I have been doing a lot of reading recently about the history of autism (by the way I have found one book to be really helpful and fascinating on this subject - 'Neurotribes' by Steve Silberman) and it shows that for decades professionals and individuals have tried to find the right terms to include or exclude various aspects of autism. My own view is that health professionals need a lot more education about what autism is. If they could be encouraged to move away from many of the different terms in use, then they could see that autism is a spectrum (or perhaps even a syndrome?) with many different facets. In the same way that all women or all men are not the same, there is a huge variance in how autistic people feel and display themselves to others.

I hope this helps. I just feel that more definitions and sub-categories might be counterproductive - whilst if 'autism' is embraced as a syndrome that has multiple dimensions, we can actually help each other a lot more by focusing on what we have in common. There is a huge exercise needed to educate the wider population too so the more we talk about how we feel to others, the more we are helping to raise awareness. 

I've only been autistic for a fortnight.

I wonder if 'mild' means 'not that noticeable to others.'

My life has been, and still is, a disaster area, but most people would think I was just a bit quirky.

However, I'm mild compared with people who can't care for themselves at all.

Two ways of looking at it, I suppose.