I am 46 and was only diagnosed with autism last year. At the time I as diagnosed, I felt quite relieved as it explained why I have suffered from depression and social anxiety since I was a child. However, I didn't know how the diagnosis would affect the rest of my life. In some ways it felt like a huge thing and in other ways quite minor.
Nearly a year after being diagnosed it feels as if I am learning to like myself. By reading a few interesting books about autism and learning a lot more about it, I have realised that I have lots of strengths as well as challenges from autism. For example, at work I am completely reliable and always deliver my work on time. I make a huge effort to get on with other people - probably because I have to consciously work at social interaction - which means that I am good at dealing with different types of people.
In my personal life, the relationships that I have with my partner, friends and family have improved. I have accepted that I am different from most people I know. For example, I only have a small number of friends but they are very close to me. i used to compare myself to other people and wonder why they had so many friends compared to me. i used to think that other people were much better socially, but now I realise that because I am a bit different, sometimes people really like spending time with me.
I am sharing this as I thought it might help others when they are going through difficult times. I have found a lot more peace in my life since I started accepting myself for who I am. Yes I am different from most people I know - but I am now much more aware of things that I like in life (going to the cinema, a country walk, a meal with family) and things that I don't enjoy (drinking alcohol, large groups or crowds of people, loud noises...).
I wonder if anyone has had similar experiences to me in terms of coming to terms with who you are and liking yourself? In some ways the autism diagnosis has completely changed my life as I am happier now. In other ways I probably don't seem that different to other people - ti is just that I have a lot less anxiety and I enjoy being a bit quirky and weird. I have no idea what will happen over the next year but so far I am really happy that I have been diagnosed as the more you know about yourself, the more you can do something about it to enjoy life.
If anyone has had a similar experience with their journey I would be really interested to hear about it or even to meet up to compare notes. Good luck to anyone going through difficult times - just remember that there are lots of sympathetic people out there and there is lots of help available. You are not alone and things will get better.
