I've always had a lesion in my brain and I've had epilepsy for as long as I can remember, so I was pretty neuro atypical long before I got this autism diagnosis as an adult just one or two years ago. I don't think you can say that someone you never met and know nothing about is "neurotypical" It's just a complete assumption and it's rude.
I also hate the term. It is used in the Autistic Community to describe the other 99% of the world, and it is language that is drilled into people from diagnosis, or childhood by people from all angles of the community. I don't like it at all. I've been in Autistic Workshops and called out the people thrusting it down peoples throats.
My main problem with it is that it creates a "them and us" dynamic. Which instantly puts up a barrier. Not good for either side. If you are taught to see 99% of the world as outsiders, how is your mindset supposed to develop towards them. If we expect people to understand us, and just label them as "neurotypicals", everytime something doesn't go right, we fall into the trap of seeing the whole world as part of the problem. People do it here, I see it regularly. I use the term occasionally, but never in a derogatory way (find a post, if anyone can dispute it), and when I do I put it in quotation marks because I don't like the default definition that the "autistic lexicon" expresses.
It is used in a derogatory term here, regularly. To be frank, if I was reading some of the posts, I'd find it pretty offensive if I was "neurotypical". It makes us look bad, in my opinion. If we expect them to understand us, we need some sort of healthy dialogue, that is beneficial to us all. Obviously there are people that don't want the dialogue on either side, that's their choice, but they reap what they sow.
If someone is a ***, they are just that, and it's not because they are "neurotypical". It's lazy, and to be frank, childish, in my opinion. I've had the *** kicked out of me, been stabbed, gassed, expelled, sacked, been called "loony", a "mong", and blah, blah, blah. I just blamed the individuals, and addressed them, not the whole of "neurotypical" society. Guess what too, sometimes it was my fault. I was a nightmare for part of my life. When things didn't work out my way, I didn't blame "neurotypicals", I had to have a hard look at myself sometimes.
I don't really blame anyone here, and who am I to anyway. They have this language drilled into them, and it's frankly cult-like, in some scenarios. But....some people welcome it with open arms in my opinion, they want to be "the other", an outsider, a misanthrope, a nihilist, and narcissistic. I've met a couple. They are free to, but misery loves company, people with bright outlooks, and no hangups end up getting sucked in.
I don't have a problem with the use of the term, it's how the way it's part of the culture, even by non-autistics working in autism, as a derogatory term, and a boogeyman. I don't think it's healthy for a young person to be given this outlook by adults who are teaching them to navigate an already tough world. As for adults who get a late diagnosis, it throws up a lot of questions regarding past traumas. I think that it can have an affect where it can make people see everything as an enemy, that is to non-autistic, or not part of the Autistic Community.
I'm not telling people not to use it, and I'm not attacking anyone. We've all had a hard path, some harder than others. The thing I'm trying to say is we should try and think about the whole dynamic, not just the word. Dialogue works both ways, and we can't just slap the "NT" label on everything, just as we don't want a label slapped on us. I think people which uses of "neurotypical" I'm talking about. I get it, some "NT's" are no angels, far from it, but the same applies to us.
Right, I'm ready to be called a heretic, but just ponder some of my points.
I also hate the term. It is used in the Autistic Community to describe the other 99% of the world, and it is language that is drilled into people from diagnosis, or childhood by people from all angles of the community. I don't like it at all. I've been in Autistic Workshops and called out the people thrusting it down peoples throats.
My main problem with it is that it creates a "them and us" dynamic. Which instantly puts up a barrier. Not good for either side. If you are taught to see 99% of the world as outsiders, how is your mindset supposed to develop towards them. If we expect people to understand us, and just label them as "neurotypicals", everytime something doesn't go right, we fall into the trap of seeing the whole world as part of the problem. People do it here, I see it regularly. I use the term occasionally, but never in a derogatory way (find a post, if anyone can dispute it), and when I do I put it in quotation marks because I don't like the default definition that the "autistic lexicon" expresses.
It is used in a derogatory term here, regularly. To be frank, if I was reading some of the posts, I'd find it pretty offensive if I was "neurotypical". It makes us look bad, in my opinion. If we expect them to understand us, we need some sort of healthy dialogue, that is beneficial to us all. Obviously there are people that don't want the dialogue on either side, that's their choice, but they reap what they sow.
If someone is a ***, they are just that, and it's not because they are "neurotypical". It's lazy, and to be frank, childish, in my opinion. I've had the *** kicked out of me, been stabbed, gassed, expelled, sacked, been called "loony", a "mong", and blah, blah, blah. I just blamed the individuals, and addressed them, not the whole of "neurotypical" society. Guess what too, sometimes it was my fault. I was a nightmare for part of my life. When things didn't work out my way, I didn't blame "neurotypicals", I had to have a hard look at myself sometimes.
I don't really blame anyone here, and who am I to anyway. They have this language drilled into them, and it's frankly cult-like, in some scenarios. But....some people welcome it with open arms in my opinion, they want to be "the other", an outsider, a misanthrope, a nihilist, and narcissistic. I've met a couple. They are free to, but misery loves company, people with bright outlooks, and no hangups end up getting sucked in.
I don't have a problem with the use of the term, it's how the way it's part of the culture, even by non-autistics working in autism, as a derogatory term, and a boogeyman. I don't think it's healthy for a young person to be given this outlook by adults who are teaching them to navigate an already tough world. As for adults who get a late diagnosis, it throws up a lot of questions regarding past traumas. I think that it can have an affect where it can make people see everything as an enemy, that is to non-autistic, or not part of the Autistic Community.
I'm not telling people not to use it, and I'm not attacking anyone. We've all had a hard path, some harder than others. The thing I'm trying to say is we should try and think about the whole dynamic, not just the word. Dialogue works both ways, and we can't just slap the "NT" label on everything, just as we don't want a label slapped on us. I think people which uses of "neurotypical" I'm talking about. I get it, some "NT's" are no angels, far from it, but the same applies to us.
Right, I'm ready to be called a heretic, but just ponder some of my points.
If you are taught to see 99% of the world as outsiders, how is your mindset supposed to develop towards them.
I thought it was the other way around - that the 99% saw people with neurodiversity as outsiders. Maybe we make outsiders of ourselves in many ways. I think, as I said, that the problem is that many, many people - myself included - have had whole lifetimes of not understanding why we had problems doing what other people seemed to be able to do with ease. This seriously started to do my head in once I hit my thirties. Wherever I'd been and whatever I'd done up until then, I'd felt like I was being rejected or marginalised by others - starting very much with the bullying throughout my school years. I tried all sorts of ways of developing relationships with others. It never seemed to work. In my early 30s, my depressions started. I began almost to feel that there was a conspiracy going on. Other people had friends. Other people had relationships. Not me. What was the secret that they weren't letting me in on? For quite a long while, I did see things very much as 'me... and everyone else.' Other people, throughout my life, had seemed either indifferent towards me at best, and hostile towards me at worst. There wasn't really anyone, apart from my mother, whom I felt could go to, trust, get emotional support from.
When I got my diagnosis, and found out I was neurodiverse, and that I was in a very small minority, and that the majority were neurotypical... then it began to make sense to me. It was a helpful way of enabling me to understand why I was 'different': I was neurodiverse, they were neurotypical. Now, I know I've said my things about 'neurotypicals' and their behaviour as much as many other people have. But the truth is that I do try - as you say - to think about the whole dynamic: to see humans, not sub-categories. Every one of us is different - old, young, heterosexual, homosexual, black, white, male, female, non-binary, neurodiverse, neurotypical. Maybe I don't always make a good job of that. Maybe it's just too easy to find something to blame - and then to find a label to stick on it. It is wrong, though. It's as wrong as people making assumptions about others based on race, beliefs, appearance and so on. Prejudice. And what's the source of that? Ignorance. And where does it lead? Fights, wars, bloodshed.
I see the point you and others are making - and yes, I can see why people would dislike the term 'neurotypical'. I'm sorry for getting hot under the collar about it. I try not to see it as a term of abuse, but as a way of understanding the distinction between autistic and non-autistic neurology. Yes, though - I admit that I have used it myself to lump other people together as a way of explaining the difficulties I've had. And that's wrong.
I'm not a misanthrope. I try to be all-embracing. I try not to make judgments. One of the reasons I disengaged from political groups - in real life and on social media - is because of the tendency always to set up 'them and us' positions. I don't want to have any part of that. But sometimes I let the guard slip, I admit. And I don't like that part of me especially. I'm work in progress.
