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Practical Jokes at Work

Raven

Hello,

I am looking for a bit of advice if anyone has had the same sort of experiences at work. I've never been great at picking up practical jokes or sarcasm. When I was growing up alot of people realised quite early on it was very easy to mess with me and unfortunately that hasn't changed. Most people take great care not to because they know sometimes I can get upset if things get out of hand. It's a bit of a confidence knocker and I have a hard time seeing the funny side. I work with a neuro-typical team, its quite small so we all try to get on and have a laugh. They all know I have AS, although it is not as severe as some cases but still enough that it does affect my social interaction and understanding a great deal.

To cut a long story short, I dropped into work on my way home one day to find out what had been happening while I was on holiday. My two colleagues, one being the manager, decided to have a bit of fun and told somewhat elaborate lies but ones that could have been true. This involved a low mystery customer score and a employee swap where I was being sent away to a new shop in a new area. I did ask if they were joking but they said they weren't and because of that I took the information at face value. I got quite upset about the "move" because of the extra stress it would cause. Eventually left and went home where my boyfriend had to calm me down. I was about ten minutes away from having a panic attack because of these changes. Eventually got a text from my manager saying they were just having a laugh. I told him it wasn't overly funny and another colleague stood up for me saying that that kind of joke was very inappropriate because they knew how I react to things like that. I told them to stop joking around with me like that, and that there were other ways of having a laugh without getting me worked up. The excuse most of them use is that its funny and we're just having a laugh, but in addition to my AS I have anxiety and deppression and I hate being led into a situation where one or more could be activated. I get its hard to put yourself in someone else's shoes but is it too much to ask for a little consideration? I wanted to explain it to them but I was upset for almost an hour before they eventually cracked and said it was a joke. They could see I was visibly upset in the shop. I'm trying to put a brave face on it and not sound like I'm whining, but I am really upset and I wish I was better at picking up on this stuff.

Has anyone else had experiences like this? Or knows how to get better at picking up on this stuff? I don't want them to treat me differently but I don't want to be constantly rethinking everything they say and looking at things the other way. I find it hard enough to trust people as it is.

Thank you

  • Some of my work mates have tried getting me to fall for stupid jokes by them telling a story and seeing if I'll believe it.  Like saying one of the other work colleagues tried committing suicide by jumping in the canal once but that I'm not to talk about it with him cos he's sensitive about it.  Stupid things like that.  They usually trip themselves up by inaccuracies in their stories.  They're just d*cks, I take what they say with a pinch of salt now.

  • Thank you for all your replies. Took the high ground and talked it all out with them. I think now they see how I got really upset and they have apologised and have said they will take care in future. I can't help but wonder if part of this also stems from not really having any contact with aspies? I think I will ask my colleague who stuck up for me if she thinks offering some very lightweight reading material might help a little.

  • It is clearly workplace bullying. Humour needs to be on a level playing field where no-one on the receiving end is disadvantaged by disability. Sounds like a thoroughly rotten place of work, badly managed, and non-compliant. Bet you're also risking life and limb with faulty electrics and inadequate office furniture.

    Tragedy is most managers are blinkered about workplace humour. The disability act is supposed to make a difference but often makes no difference at all. Indeed some employers believe this kind of humour strengthens character and maintains a healthy office environment.

    You should be able to get remedy through union intervention if you have one. It is also a basis for an industrial tribunal. In reality it is harder. Go somewhere better if you can. But you shouldn't have to leave a job just because of sick colleagues and bad management practices.

    I think workplace bullying is a major factor in preventing able people on the spectrum holding down good jobs. The condition isn't taken seriously by managers, and there's still a lot of mythology out there. The Government's response to leading rewarding and fulfilling lives is just window dressing.

    There was a survey of teachers in further and higher education a few years back that found appalling levels of bullying and degradation of disabled employees. Sadly progress is far too slow.

    Keep a record of incidents. You may need to go to a tribunal.

  • Sounds like bullying to me

  • the way i see it is, if you were wheelchair bound, and worked in an upstairs office, would it really be that funny to put an "out of service" sign on the elevator. or if you were partiality sighted , would it be funny if people kept turning the lights off? or if you were born with only your left hand, would it be that funny to hide all the left handed equipment ?some

    jokes

    are funny. others, are not. i wouldnt even say what they said to you, to a NT. it sickens me how some people find certain things "hilarious ". talk to the colleague  that stuck up for you. mention  the law etc. lets hope they learn from their mistake. take care!

  • Hi Raven,

    I can see how that 'joke' was so upsetting for you. My only suggestion would be to talk to the colleague who stuck up for you and ask them to explain why  and how it caused so  much anxiety for you to the boss. They wouldn't have jokes with you if they knew how upset you would get .

    There's not an easy way to spot these things though, except to try and question if they were really going to swap your job with someone lese's how do you think they would tell you. Without knowing the sort of company you work for its hard to know, but where I work the manager wouldn't say it in front of another memebr of staff , they would have a meeting just you and the boss.

    Try not to dwell on it over the weekend and see how things are on Monday.