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My ASD child Says " It's OK Mum, it doesn't bother me. "

4boysmum

What Do I do For The Best here ? 


As the Title says," It's OK mum, It doesn't bother me." This is what my son is now saying after years of relentless bullying..many many different example . He is now in his Final year of Primary school, and the School has done very little to nothing effective to stop the children from being nasty to my son. to make matters worse, I hear about various incidents from other parents... The mums and Dads of children who feel guilty about taking part in the mob mentality of well No one likes him... or Everyone does it....or if I don't join in I might be the next victim kid...Sometimes these *would be nice kids*, well they have to tell... the parent are shocked, call me, PM me or talk to me at school/ kids club etc.. Usually they start with the sentence.. Am very sorry but......
I am heartbroken I can't stop this.... am angry the school don't even call me 90% of the time they know of things.. Most recent example..... graffiti in the toilets... **** is Gay....... The children involved got spoken to.... Was i Called by School??? NO !!
Was the Parents Called by School ??? NO !!!
this was just the final straw for one of the nice kids, who told his mum.... and told her how my son wasn't at school today... maybe because all his friends keep taking his hat and gloves from him, passing them to each other so he cant get them, then throwing them onto the ground..... or maybe its because his good/ best friends have been calling him names...or maybe its because everyone shuns him as they don't want to be associated with the kid who doesn't bother about being bullied anymore because at least he has friends who do play with him when they are not being nasty to him........ So I ask you all..... Where do you go with this ?  For reasons of his own.. He just CAN'T speak up for himself.. and our school ??? What school wants to be known as the school with bullying issues ?? they hind, deny or turn a blind eye to keep it all hush hush and off their records..
my apologies for pouring out on here, but when your child is so defeated he says "it's OK Mum, it doesn't bother me" that hurts your heart ..... oh and No... He won't hear of changing schools, he likes his so called good school and friends, no matter how much i say to him.. My Big BIG fear would be if I did move him School, Would it happen there and would he have Zero friends? ? Would be be unhappy?? Hate me for moving him... He doesn't like change.... He is generally happy enough, given his social awareness skills are so poor, he seems to be a tough wee cookie. resilient beyond anything I or anyone i know could ever put up with...   He shouldn't have too... I wish these school children weren't so cruel.  
So here I am... What do i do? 

  • If he's okay with it, you should leet it be let someone else deal with it.

  • Hi ,

    We understand this is a very serious issue, and we would like to do whatever we can to help you.

    You may like to have a look at page on our website called "A bullying guide for parents" which can help you understand how bullying can affect your child and what you can do to help them: http://www.autism.org.uk/about/in-education/bullying/guide-parents.aspx.  

    You can also find a guide for your son/daugther on what to do when being bullied, and how to stay safe: http://www.autism.org.uk/about/in-education/bullying/guide-young-people.aspx.

    If you would like some confidential advice and support, you may like to call the Bullying UK helpline on 0808 800 2222 or by visiting their website: http://bit.ly/IQ47dS.

    You can also contact our Autism Helpline for impartial, confidential information along with support and advice for you and your son/daughter: 0808 800 4104 (10am-4pm Monday-Thursday, 9am-3pm Fridays).Please note the Helpline team are experiencing a high volume of calls so it could take you a few attempts to get through to an adviser.

    Best wishes,

    Chloe Mod

  • Ive just joined the site and Im so relieved to find other mums with the same worries to talk to about their experiences. My son is ten I knew he had social awkwardness and poor motor skills from a young age but did not realise that all the signs were there. I feel like I've failed him but not knowing enough about the Autism Spectrum I am currently waiting for him to be assessed. Long process.. What I read made me cry as it was as if id written it. He has been bullied relentlessly throughout school. Struggled to make friends. Preferring to stay in a break with the teacher. I send him to every club and activity to help keep him occupied from singing to cooking classes. He is generally a happy loving boy, the best son a mum could ever ask for. But every day my heart breaks that he is not making friends. The bullying got so bad that I moved him to another school. The new school has his niece there who he is very close to. His big sister takes him to and from school now as she lives closer. Our whole lives have been turned upside down because I wanted him to be happier. I work night shifts so he stays at his sisters weekdays. I miss him terribly. The new school is great and the teachers are wonderful. Unfortunately kids are kids and they are uneducated to anyone who is different and the teasing and pushing him around has started again. He reacts to this and it makes it worse. I feel helpless and want to be there to help him. I also want to take him away from it all. He has made some friends but will he ever has a proper friends who invites him over after school. Will he lead a normal life Im so worried about him I will do whatever it takes to make him a happy boy.