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Debt and financial abuse

NAS21409

I apologise in advance for the length of this thread but I am at my wits end!!! WearyWeary My 25 year old daughter was diagnosed aged 22 with autism Dyspraxia ADHD and anxiety. She is high functioning works drives has boyfriends RageRage but is vulnerable and has since left an abusive relationship after 5 mths RageRage and also has responsibility for her own finances which is where the major problems lie  She is a compulsive spender and has got herself into so much debt including pay day loans and being conned Raged cohersed into being a guarantor for a so called,"friend" who has done a bunk and left her with the debt. Her total debt amounts to 14kRageRageRageRageRageRage14k  as she has mental capacity (though not in finance we feel) I just don't know what to do. She buries her head in the sand until some major crisis happens lies to us then has a meltdown becSobse she has no money and starts to sekf harm and shout scream and get verbally abusive towards us dispute having bailed her out so many times our finances and savings are now suffering. She won't eveSobjet us see bank statements open mail (there is a stack of in opened letters). We have only just been awarded 2 hrs support and we are waiting to appoint a support worker to her in the hope that she Sobll engage with them. Is there anything legal I can do re guarantor as she was told what to put on the form offered money to do it etc...... I am so angry frustrated desperate as her debt will surelySobmpact on us as a family SobSobSob

  • You need to get help from doctors who would forbid lending institutions from lending to a person with autism. I don't think it's an illness that prevents you from managing your finances competently. A friend of mine also has autism, and he very often borrows money from credit companies. But before borrowing money, he carefully evaluates his financial capabilities. Moreover, to save money, he looks for the best deals here [link removed by moderator] and for a reason. Once, he borrowed money at a shallow interest rate. 

  • [spam removed by mod]

  • in reply to NAS21409

    ...working towards...

    ...well done you.. tough times and hopefully you are through most of the worst! x

  • in reply to .

    He's a controlling nasty narcassist but hopefully has gone away. Police did a stage 6 disclosure to her (Claires Law) which put an end to her 'feelings' for him. If he comes near again we will press charges trust me. She just wants to move on now and put it behind her plus police sent safeguarding report to social services so he's well and truly on their radar now. Glad you are safe x

  • in reply to NAS21409

    Good luck.  FYI (and do share this with your daughter if you think it helps).  I reported my relationship and pressed charges.... my OH has been on police bail since. x

  • in reply to .

    I will ring CAB thanks. We have been to financial ombudsman too but no luck. I am speaking to social worker today. She too was in a very abusive controlling relationship. It was horrendous. Reported 3 times to police but no action as she is too scared to press charges. She's having counselling at the moment still. Thanks for reply. I will kero you posted  

  • in reply to NAS39248

    I will do thanks. We went to the financial ombudsman in the hope we could get them on irresponsible lending but as there is no question on the form to ask if someone has mental health issues etc... It is assumed everyone has mental capacity until its proved otherwise plus it is an invasion of human rights to ask. There are some unscrupulous lenders out there. I will hopefully be seeing our social worker later today I will ask her also but CAB next stop I think. Thanks 

  • in reply to .

    ooooh!

    here is an article on the CAB website about Guarantors

    http://www.cab.org.nz/vat/money/lc/Pages/BeingaGuarantor.aspx

    It is a court issue if you feel that your daughter has been coerced. 

    If you think the credit contact is oppressive, then as a guarantor you are entitled to apply to the Court to have the contract changed. 

  • Im in a similar situation due to a coercive and controlling relationship.  I phoned up the loan company (i was bullied into being guarantor) and they told me it was legally binding - the only way out of it was if the person paid off the loan or if they wanted to increase the loan amount and thus the guarantor would need to be given permission again.  I even explained the situation to the loan company and gave them the police crime number.

    Have you tried CAB for advice?

    Let me know how you get on

    Ellie

  • Hi, speak to the helpline they may have specialist advice on this issue, I would also suggest talking to the cab about the legality of her being a guarantor as it is arguable that she did not understand what she was agreeing to. 

    Sorry I can't be more help 

    Good luck