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Need for empathy in Asperger's

NAS50725

I understand that a person with Asperger's struggles with having empathy for others, but do they also not need empathy from others? Or is it likely that one might have a strong need for empathy from others, to the point of almost demanding it? 

Thank you.

  • in reply to Whats-His-Face

    See I struggle with my emotions, not because I don't feel them, I just don't understand them and they can overwhelm me (something I am looking to resolve currently).  When people are hurt or upset, it does make me distressed as I want to make them feel better and happy - however the outpouring of emotions from other people overwhelms and I often do't know how to react to it.  Like you though, I often become rooted with a character and almost emotional invested in their story.  With TV and books though, I find they are safer to become more emotionally vested - there are no consequences to incorrectly foreseeing the outcomes and you are not required to present an emotional solution to the problem. There is no risk or hurting the character, which is often my biggest fear with someone in real life.

  • in reply to Sunflower

    On the contrary I’m the opposite. I know what empathetic feeling I should have but I don’t feel it. I like empathy. Actually writing this I’ve realised I lack empathy in real life but I can emphasise with fiction, ie tv, movies or games. Damn I’m confused lol

  • Humanity would be good from others if empathy is more difficult to find :)

    In terms of aspergers and empathy, the following is from the BBC website:

    "Do people with Asperger's have empathy?

    Contrary to popular belief, people with Asperger's do have empathy. They care about how others are thinking and feeling but they often have difficulty putting themselves in other people's shoes. This is a skill that can be learned over time..

    Trouble picking up how others are thinking or feeling via tone of voice or body language can make people with Asperger's appear less than empathetic when they don't mean to be.

    The autism community talks about the double bind empathy problem. This is where neurotypicals can seem less than empathetic - by failing to take into account how people with autism see the world. They might ignore the fact that autistic people have a tendency to take things literally, asking someone to take a seat rather than sit down.

    ..."

    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-ouch-28746359

  • in reply to I'm done with Christmas Cards

    Re: my attempts.  No they were not a way of seeking empathy or sympathy from others.

    I actually meant it.  Unfortunately the more tablets I took, the more difficult it became because of nausea.

  • in reply to Robert124

    Yes, indeed. One of the great things about finding communities such as this is "finally, someone understands & I'm not alone!". I'm working up to a post about my own attention seeking behaviours, which itself risks being attention seeking, but maybe I'm not going to overanalyse that.

    If you're talking from personal experience re suicide attempts, I hope you're in a better place now? I've been close btw.

  • The answer to your second question is yes.

    People do want empathy from others.  And indulge in behaviour to try to get it.   This can take many forms of attention seeking behaviour and includes suicide attempts.

  • Interesting question. Yes there are misconceptions about people on the ASD spectrum having empathy, and part of this is because there isn't a wide understanding of the difference - as Sunflower said - between cognitive empathy & affective empathy and their relationships to emotional contagion, compassion, alexithymia and emotional overload.

    As to whether people with ADS feel a need for empathy from others, I'd be very interested to see a survey done on this for purely personal reasons; I know that I'm frequently guilty of attention seeking in a variety of ways, and as Binary said part of this is because of a feeling of wanting to be understood.

  • in reply to Robert124

    That is true Robert. I have been reading about emotional empathy versus cognitive empathy. I often feel other people's emotions incredibly deeply - even if they are hiding them. But I find it hard to work out what the emotional consequences of specific situations will be, and how people are likely to feel if certain things happen. I seem to have high emotional empathy and low cognitive empathy. 

  • One of the most common misconceptions is that Autistics lack empathy for others.

    Autistics possess  strong empathy feelings it's the inability to express them in acceptable conventional ways that is the problem.