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Trying to decide if I need a label - interested to know if there is any help/advice that I could follow to feel more normal at work

NAS50654

Well today a guy who is a clinical psychologist and a friend, said well of course you are on the spectrum, and didn't mean it as a cheap through away line, when the topic came up at lunch. Before now I had wondered, but never truly engaged with idea. I am 41. I was 1% off a first at Cambridge. I hold down a complex job requiring significant communication and people skills.

Now I am wondering:

1. Is it true?

2. If it is, does getting a diagnosis help with anything?

3. Are there any resources out there that could help me perform better at work?

1. I am female. I am able to concentrate for so long I get dehydrated. I produce marketing content at speeds others can't. I am ruthlessly logical and can easily visualise complex systems. I am intensely empathetic in some situations. I have a low pain threshold and a heightened sense of colour, taste and smell. I am rigid in my views of what is right and wrong and believe I have to have a justification for everything I do. I feel injustice very strongly and get angry and upset if people don't do what they are supposed to. Although I enjoy one to one conversation, and can make presentations to large groups, I hate large groups of normal people and have to sit in a  corner when forced to go to things like my son's school fair or nativity play.  

I am not looking for an online diagnosis - but perhaps a pointer to some resources I could read.

2. If I were to get a diagnosis, would that help me? There isn't a cure right? I mainly function as a human being. I just feel abnormal and insecure and I react in ways that I know are not normal. If I got a diagnosis would that help me to access support?

3. What support is there? Can anyone train me to be less emotionally involved at work and to take things less personally?

If you are able to reply to this, thank you for your time.

  • Hi, so many interesting questions! 

    1. There's a variety of tests that you can take that you can use to form a view yourself, plus you could read about typical impacts. Caveat here is that every autistic person is an individual, and there's almost no symptom for which you could say "I can't be autistic because I don't X", or "I *must* be autistic because Y". Did you have things leading you to suspect something before your conversation with your friend?

    2. Diagnosis can help some people in many ways, for others it's not that significant. On a practical level, a formal dx can give access to support such as Access to Work, plus probably a bunch of stuff that I don't know about. On a personal level, for some people (me!) it's the ultimate validation of my own findings.

    3. Performing better at work - huge topic, depends on what you want to do and how you want to do it. Deeper understanding of yourself will always help; you seem to have heaps of that already, and learning more about the patterns of symptoms and their underlying causes can help deepen that (again, it did for me massively - "oh, *thats* why I do that!"). It can certainly help you explain to others what your needs are, and referring to a recognised label carries a bit of gravitas and helps people to understand you're not just being weird / fussy.

    Everything you mention in your largest paragraph rings true of ASD to my ears.

    No there is no cure, just better ways of coping and being. Not all impacts are limiting, as you've discovered with your ability to concentrate and visualise (same here). Empathy is a fascinating topic - it used to be said that ASD results in a lack of empathy, but empathy isn't a monolithic skill and at the basic level breaks down into cognitive empathy and affective empathy. In varying degrees, some people with ASD have more of one and less of the other, and the 'more' can sometimes outweigh the 'less'.

    Your last question strikes a chord with me, because I've realised I cared far too much about work & this is one thing that lead to burnout. I thought it was simply the amount of emotional effort I was expending, but it turns out that it was also because I was compensating for my ASD limitations by using my intellect, which then wore out! *How* to be less emotionally involved? Not sure, there may be a variety of ways & it depends what works for you.

    I'm happy to chat this through with you over PM if you want.

    Hope that helps! & Welcome (I've only been here a week or so but welcome anyway).

  • Do you feel your issues cause you anxiety or discomfort? If so it might be worth going for a referral. For me at the moment i feel that reading about it is enough of an enlightenment for me and i have been able to put strategies of my own in place to lessen anxiety in certain situations.

  • Greetings. At risk of hate and arguments (?), I post the following. :
    You already have a "label", more than one, whether you want it or not: Male, Female, White, Black, Asian, Mixed, NT, ND... all that sort of thing. It is all just the English Language, and however people (including strangers) classify you or ignore you, and it is used in LAW to define you as a living (human) entity.

    If you have the chance to get a diagnosis, then do so, because getting a diagnosis is not at all easy to get. (The 'waiting list' is so long that sometimes it can take Months of Years.) But in gaining an Official diagnosis of Autism, it opens up a lot of new/different routes according to LAW. Also, Once gained, it need not be stated/disclosed to everyone, and only stated when the need(s) arise. (E.g. in case of 'Sensory Overloads', or something.)

    ...As for "feeling more normal", you can only feel how you yourself feel; but with the diagnosis, that, as I say, is supposed to open up a little more 'support'. For at least some "support", you are already in the right place (or the start of it?), by knowing about NAS and this Forum. Others here may give you better answers to more specific questions, and so on.

    Good Luck.

  • Hi NAS50654. I can relato to a lot of what you say.

    Im female 33 self duagnosed.

    Sarah Hendricx is really good. On youtube and her book about femsles with autism is a good starting point