Hi all!
Recently my husband and I have not been getting along as well as I would like. He blames a recent period of me being off work sick, in hospital (secure mental health unit) my increased anxiety and him apparently having to have the patience of a saint to put up with me.
I don’t claim to be perfect, I have huge social anxiety, generalised anxiety problems and OCD. I’m very resistant to a change in planned routines, sometimes he will try to change plans for a meal out last minute and I completely freak out, my anxiety goes through the roof. He claims to understand but then will do the same thing again a few weeks later.
I am T-total, drinking alcohol is something I’ve never understood. Expensive and not good for you, so why do people do it? I think this narrow minded way of thinking is part of my autism, or am I being a judgemental so and so? I find it very hard to understand others point of view, or if anyone does something a different way to me, as far as I am concerned I go about things the most logical way possible, so for me to watch someone do something a different way, is really hard and makes me super uncomfortable. My husband sees this as me being controlling and rude.
My husband claims my controlling ways are one of the main reasons we have problems. I have however not just developed these habits and traits, they have always been there, and he married me knowing about them.
hes recently started drinking to excess, drinking before work and going to work still drunk from the night before. He says this isn’t an issue and I’m just over sensitive, and I don’t understand because I’m a non drinker.
Could my controlling ways, anxiety, OCD and rigidity in routine be down to my autism? Am I blaming being autistic, when really it’s nothing to do with that? I don’t think my husband believes that high functioning autism is a thing, so trying to get him to understand is hard.
am I just a bad person? And an even worse wife?
thanks & sorry... ParaTed