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Boyfriend with autism flirting with other girls?

NAS50448
over 5 years ago

Ok, so here’s the thing.

My boyfriend has aspergers syndrome. He keeps staring at other girls when we go out- and I don’t mean just glaring, lookig, peeking. I mean downright STARING silently at a girl, watching her every move until she leaves his sight. 

This makes me a little jealous of course. I don’t mind him looking, because hey I look at guys too, but I don’t stare at them so obviously. I’ve talked to him about this, expressed how I’ve felt when he does this. 

He keeps saying he didn’t mean to stare, and that he only wants me, and so on. He also says it’s because of his diagnosis that he’s acting like this. So autism makes guys stare at other girls and flirt with other girls even though he is in a relationship? 

Maybe it does? That’s why I’ve come here to ask hopefully other adults who have autism. 

Thank you in advanve.

Parents
  • over 2 years ago
    • My husband who has Aspergers is always looking at other women he will always smile at them so that they will smile back.  He does this with me when we are holding hands.  This hurts me. He doesn’t  even look at at me anymore.  We don’t have sex anymore he says kissing me doesn’t feel natural so he won’t do it. Yet he he smiles at other women waiting for them to smile back? What’s going on in his mind as I am so fed up and feel humiliated I don’t know what to do.

  • over 2 years ago in reply to NAS80439

    Tell him straight if you haven’t already. Give an ultimatum or ask him straight out why he is doing this and has stopped everything with you. (The actual reason why, my daughter can take a bit of questioning to get more than a vague because I don’t want to style answer) We can’t always read between the lines if you’re talking too subtly about how unhappy you are and what that may mean for your marriage. Be prepared that you may not like to hear the answer though, especially if you are both older and he’s only doing this to younger women. If he’s not open to some sort of marriage counselling you need to think about putting yourself first and starting afresh 

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  • over 2 years ago in reply to NAS80439

    Tell him straight if you haven’t already. Give an ultimatum or ask him straight out why he is doing this and has stopped everything with you. (The actual reason why, my daughter can take a bit of questioning to get more than a vague because I don’t want to style answer) We can’t always read between the lines if you’re talking too subtly about how unhappy you are and what that may mean for your marriage. Be prepared that you may not like to hear the answer though, especially if you are both older and he’s only doing this to younger women. If he’s not open to some sort of marriage counselling you need to think about putting yourself first and starting afresh 

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