hello i dont really know where to start with what i want to do so im looking for some advice. basically my whole life in school sucked, i did nothing and never learned anything and got neglected by school pretty badly and have pretty much just been hiding in my room ever since. i am 20 and its been a few years and it is only now really i feel like i want to try my hardest to become something like a normal person but i dont know how to... my parents do everything for me and dont think i can do anything for myself because of how much school messed with me. im very bad at talking to people and was often mute in school but i have one very good online friend so i have the determination i can do it now. i have tried to get my parents to teach me how to cook and go outside to get things on my own to some success. but i dont know what the next goals i should set for myself are so i can have more control of my life.
my ultimate goal is to be able to live on my own as much as possible and ultimate ultimate goal is to go to another country one day (lol). i have benefits money but i dont have full access to it and my parents use it most of the time without telling me anything so i never know what i have. admittedly its because i abused it when i was younger... >_> i want to get a job instead cos i think i can do it but they dont beleive i can and i would lose it or something if i tried and failed.... on top of this i am really depressed about it right now. i feel like im completely useless with everything about my life out of my hands right now and every couple of days ill just cry and want to die. i dont think i actually will but its very frustrating.
so in short what are the things i should learn to be able to look after myself on my own? and how do i learn them beyond just asking my parents. they dont rely on me to do anything for myself so i need to convince them i can.
