? Benefits of diagnosis

Sorry if my previous post was a bit me focused rather than a reply, I meant to say things agreeing with you and ended up using it as an exercise to order my thoughts before next week. Anyways that being said I think I get exactly what you mean about change, it always bothers me when things are changed like item locations in shops, especially if it messes with things to the point that it becomes necessary to go and ask someone where things are now. I also get what you mean about knowing what to say in social situations as I tend to find that it takes so much effort to keep track of all the things people expect such as remembering to try and look people in the eye and do all the small talk things (I once described eye contact to a counsellor as like balancing on something extremely unstable and it being an indescribably strong urge to just stop and rest on solid ground - they didn't understand what I meant). Social contact can be exhausting. The sensitivity thing is interesting too as I have always had trouble with the feel of certain fabric textures or the texture of things like baked beans or mashed potato, and sound has always been a thing for me but like I said in my first reply I didn't understand that not everyone feels that way. Do you mind if I ask what kind of sounds bother you out of interest as I seem to have a bit of a complex relationship with sound, some things like noisy environments are just draining but I find a lot of sudden discordant noises to be quite disturbing, such as the sudden banging rattling crashing of one of those supermarket stock trolley cage things rumbling by. At the same time as that I find myself drawn to some particularly discordant synth music as I find it almost thrilling to listen to such things when I am in control and in private. 

I hope you find enough feedback here to satisfy yourself either way.

Sorry if my previous post was a bit me focused rather than a reply, I meant to say things agreeing with you and ended up using it as an exercise to order my thoughts before next week. Anyways that being said I think I get exactly what you mean about change, it always bothers me when things are changed like item locations in shops, especially if it messes with things to the point that it becomes necessary to go and ask someone where things are now. I also get what you mean about knowing what to say in social situations as I tend to find that it takes so much effort to keep track of all the things people expect such as remembering to try and look people in the eye and do all the small talk things (I once described eye contact to a counsellor as like balancing on something extremely unstable and it being an indescribably strong urge to just stop and rest on solid ground - they didn't understand what I meant). Social contact can be exhausting. The sensitivity thing is interesting too as I have always had trouble with the feel of certain fabric textures or the texture of things like baked beans or mashed potato, and sound has always been a thing for me but like I said in my first reply I didn't understand that not everyone feels that way. Do you mind if I ask what kind of sounds bother you out of interest as I seem to have a bit of a complex relationship with sound, some things like noisy environments are just draining but I find a lot of sudden discordant noises to be quite disturbing, such as the sudden banging rattling crashing of one of those supermarket stock trolley cage things rumbling by. At the same time as that I find myself drawn to some particularly discordant synth music as I find it almost thrilling to listen to such things when I am in control and in private. 

I hope you find enough feedback here to satisfy yourself either way.

Hi I think the sounds that bother me most are things most people don’t seem to hear mainly the buzz of electrical appliances (I have to have music or sometimes audiobooks on all the time at home to cover it). I have problems with noises that echo like bowling allies and if I’m tired or stressed I don’t cope well with the noise of crowded places or buses but I regularly go to concerts and music festivals and have never really had problems with the noise there not really sure why but I don’t sleep too badly in a tent in a packed field! It took me a long time to realise that most people don’t have a problem with sound in the same way some sounds seem to echo down my nerves and hurt my skin. A few years ago our cinema changed its snack advert before all the films it now has a very loud kind of warbling bass note at the end I can’t listen to I have to put my fingers in my ears luckily my best friend ( after looking at me as if I was slightly insane when I explained that the sound hurt my skin) always lets me know when it’s over so I don’t miss the film.

I work long shifts at times and find that my first day off after this I can’t cope well with going out or seeing anyone I just need the time on my own to the point where I’ve lied about being ill so I can cancel plans. I used to do this at school a lot needing to take a day off every couple of weeks of so where I would be able to have the house to myself while my family was at work or school. At the time I didn’t realise it was because I needed time alone I just used to get so exhausted I just couldn’t cope with leaving the house. Sometimes just talking to people takes so much concentration I’m too exhausted to do anything else.

texture wise it’s mainly fabrics there are a lot I can’t wear I mainly stick to cotton and more natural blends but not wool. Some of this is related to the sounds they make as well as the feel. I can’t sleep if I don’t have a heavy quilt or blanket on even in summer although I do feel the heat so a bit of a catch 22 sometimes. 

After reading all the posts on here I’m leaning towards pushing for a diagnosis. If it turns out I’m not autistic I’m pretty sure something else must be wrong and I’m very aware of how poor mental health services are in my area as some of my friends have struggled for help.