Job interview and Occupational Health interview today

No.  I mean it's obvious you're not going to change the perspectives at that place, so trying will just be tilting at windmills.  If that will make you happy then have at it, but personally I wouldn't waste my effort trying to change opinions of people who no longer need to be part of my life.

You mean like the usual battles we NDs face out there in the world?

In other words... give up on ever trying to win.

Is it any wonder so many of us die so young, and at our own hands?

Well, that's interesting.

I've just found out from a colleague who's in the know about my situation that the woman in question is now openly bullying someone else - calling her 'a fat c**t', etc, and saying she 'doesn't give a f**k' if people report her for it.

I hope they all go forwards and complain.  Somehow, though, I think people will end up wanting to protect their own backs.

I'm trying to encourage them all, and the latest victim (a lovely woman - I can't believe she's been targetted) to report it.

I hope they do.  The sooner they realise they have a cancerous personality in their midst, the sooner they can do something about it.

If they've a mind to...

I'd suggest your energy is better spent on battles that you stand a chance of winning.

No, there isn't.  But the injustice of it is hard to forget.  When you find something like this out - that they're actually trying that tack (and the woman I spoke to actually agreed with me that it sounds highly suspicious, like they might be trying a ploy for constructive dismissal), then you don't just roll over and forget it.

Either we let them continue trying to exploit us, or we take up the cudgels in some way.

No.  I can't let it go.  That's what they want me to do.

Mods: the omission of certain letters is surely enough, isn't it?  Are we all children? 

Maybe I should have just said fecking bustards.

You've already decided to move on, you've found something else, they'll probably be glad to see you go since they now perceive you as a problem - just let it go if you can.  There's no point getting wound about it now.

Hmm.

I think that's certainly the case.  It's a charity, so resources are tight - and that usually means more work being distributed between fewer staff.

Martian Tom said:

I wonder what the NAS would have to say about it.

I think you'll find that NAS will be rather silent....

Yes.  I said to her that there's a chasm of difference between clients using challenging behaviour as a form of communication and someone being deliberately challenging as part of a bullying campaign.

I left the Union because I was appalled at how little seemed to be the help they were offering.  Maybe I should have stayed in.  Not that I really want to get into a protracted dispute, especially with a charity.

All the same, though... I think this needs to be looked into.  I wonder what the NAS would have to say about it.

Three words that keep coming into my head: devious f****** b*******!

[Edited by Moderator]

But the Occupational Health person recognises that they are on thin ice... I agree with her.. challenging clients are one things.... staff a different matter

Martian Tom said:

The OC woman said that she will compile a report and send it to me first, before it goes to my managers, for my agreement.  She said she's going to stipulate that she doesn't believe they're supporting me enough in accordance with my needs, and will quote the Equality Act and the Disability Act... and she will tell them that they really need to find out more about the condition they're meant to be in the business of dealing with.

Hold on to the above Mr T and keep reading it..

For every *** in the world....there is also someone who has your back....

No... I think she was being honestly realistic.  It's good to know the situation.  I could tell how under stress she was.  During the interview, she had to leave at one point to deal with an emergency.  When she came back, she said 'This happens a lot.  Sorry.'

How about the fact that my current lot are suggesting I'm not dealing with challenging behaviour properly?  I still can't believe they'd be that bloody crafty.

Do you think she was trying just to put you off... or what she trying trying to realistic?

Whoa!  Just got off the phone from the Occy Health woman.  She was great, actually, with a good understanding about Asperger's.

She told me something that sent my blood pressure up.

In spite of all I've told them at work about my condition and how it affects me, and notwithstanding the fact that they specialise in autism... the message they sent to OC was that they wanted us to have a talk so a suitable way forwards could be figured out.  She said that, from the tone of the message she received, it seemed to her that they aren't sure what to do for the best.  She said, though, that they'd also sent her a copy of my job description, highlighting that part of my job role was 'dealing with challenging behaviour.'

You can probably imagine my reaction to that.  She agreed with me, too.  'I don't know why they said that,' she said.  'Unless they don't really have a proper understanding of autism.  You can deal with challenging behaviour from service users.  But it's a world of difference from dealing with bullying and harassment from a work colleague.'

Exactly!  And the first thought that came into my head?  That they're trying to build a case against me on the grounds that I can't fulfill an important aspect of my job role.

I really can't believe they could do something like this.  Or maybe I can.  I'm a liability to them now.  A problem that needs to be dealt with quickly, and move on.

The OC woman said that she will compile a report and send it to me first, before it goes to my managers, for my agreement.  She said she's going to stipulate that she doesn't believe they're supporting me enough in accordance with my needs, and will quote the Equality Act and the Disability Act... and she will tell them that they really need to find out more about the condition they're meant to be in the business of dealing with.

I'm still shaking with fury now.

That's great - you can opt for the college with no regrets - the job you were interviewed for today sounds horribly stressful! 

Hope all goes OK with Occ Health. 

()

Sounds like a wise decision!  TBH, even if you were up-to-speed before you started I think what she described would get tiring quite quickly.  It sounds as if they basically want their staff to be at their constant beck and call.  It sounds like they are under resourced, which gets to people, so they take off a lot time sick to get some downtime, which increases the pressure on the remaining people, who end up needing time off to...

Hopefully the school will be a bit more regimented and at least you get some big chunks of downtime to recharge.

Thanks for your good luck wishes, Sunflower and Ellie.

I think I have my answer.

I was interviewed by two very nice and personable, but very honest and stressed-out women - one of whom would be my manager.  She made no bones about the huge stresses of the job, the constantly shifting priorities, the innumerable variables.

I said to her it sounded like she needed someone to hit the ground running.

'I'm not even sure what the ground is,' she replied.  She then gave me a long litany of things that can go wrong that could throw the most important part of her job - the rota for the entire staff in the house - into a nose-dive.  She told me there was enormous pressure, and just as a job seemed completed, something usually came up to mean it would need to be done again: medication not arriving, surprise appointments, booking transport that then became unavailable on the day, staff going sick at a moment's notice, senior managers demanding stuff, constant complaints about things that they had no control over.

'Some days, I suddenly realise just before hometime that I haven't had any lunch.  Some days, I boil the kettle all day and never get to make a cup of tea.'

She said there were often sudden emergencies where staff would be called in from home in the evenings to rejig the rota, or rearrange services.  The extra time could be taken as time off - when any spare time became available.

'It's called an admin job... but it's not a normal office job.  There's so much more to do.'

I think it would be fine if I could learn it all before fitting into the role.  But in those circumstances - and for minimum wage - I think I'd be heading for crack-up very quickly.

The College it is, then.

GOOD LUCK!!!