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Is discussing what it is like to be Autistic with Neurotypical people an exercise in futility?

Edearl

Good Morning Everybody,

I have read all the threads posted recently with great interest, and one of the most consistent themes is the frustration and a lack of understanding of fundamental concepts of what it is like to be Autistic.

For context, I am forty-two and was diagnosed with an ASC a little of over a year ago, after an eight-year battle with so-called “experts”; and I have had a lifetime of Autistic related issues which went undiagnosed – my school reports are great inspirational comedy in hindsight.

Since receiving my diagnosis my experiences have been confusing at best and at times disgraceful and frankly insulting. I would be fascinated to hear people’s opinions, experiences and general feedback.

Thank you all for your time. 

Parents

  • I wasn't diagnosed until early last year at age 55, after a lifetime of being labelled as difficult, argumentative, eccentric, weird etc etc. I used to think that I was neurotypical & it's only since my diagnosis that I have been increasingly aware of the differerence.

    The question cuts both ways though, since I have no idea what it is like to be neurotypical. Fundamentally, it is impossible to know what it is like to be someone else & we can only imagine what it is like inside someone else's head based on both their descriptions & observed behaviour.

    I think the problem that many neurotypicals have with understanding people on the spectrum is that they start from the position that it is a disability rather than just an alternate mode of being. If an NT automatically assumes that people on the spectrum are broken in some way, they are unlikely to properly listen to any description & will only remember the negative things which confirm their pre-existing prejudices.

    I am frequently frustrated by the irrational/childish behaviour of some NTs & how they often seem to take far too long to understand things that seem overwhelmingly obvious. They rarely seem to feel the need to explain themselves for being that way though.

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  • I wasn't diagnosed until early last year at age 55, after a lifetime of being labelled as difficult, argumentative, eccentric, weird etc etc. I used to think that I was neurotypical & it's only since my diagnosis that I have been increasingly aware of the differerence.

    The question cuts both ways though, since I have no idea what it is like to be neurotypical. Fundamentally, it is impossible to know what it is like to be someone else & we can only imagine what it is like inside someone else's head based on both their descriptions & observed behaviour.

    I think the problem that many neurotypicals have with understanding people on the spectrum is that they start from the position that it is a disability rather than just an alternate mode of being. If an NT automatically assumes that people on the spectrum are broken in some way, they are unlikely to properly listen to any description & will only remember the negative things which confirm their pre-existing prejudices.

    I am frequently frustrated by the irrational/childish behaviour of some NTs & how they often seem to take far too long to understand things that seem overwhelmingly obvious. They rarely seem to feel the need to explain themselves for being that way though.

Children
  • in reply to Pirate Santa
    Pirate Santa said:
    The question cuts both ways though, since I have no idea what it is like to be neurotypical. Fundamentally, it is impossible to know what it is like to be someone else & we can only imagine what it is like inside someone else's head based on both their descriptions & observed behaviour.

    This is true.  But neurotypicality is regarded as the 'norm' by virtue of the fact that the vast majority of people are neurotypicals.  Which is why we copy them in order to get by out there in the world.  They have each other, too, to back up their sense that they're right and we're not.  We're the odd ones.  We're the single cat in the room full of dogs.  We don't have to understand why they behave the way they do in order to copy them.  They, on the other hand, would never try to copy us.  If they did, they'd make a much bigger hash of it than we make copying them.