New Job!

What interests me is the social dynamic of how some people seem to be able to get away with being difficult but others can't.  I can't claim to understand how it works though.

That is almost certainly true. Everyone is bending over backwards trying not to upset her because it is clear to them just how difficult she will be if they do. Classic bullying behaviour! The mistake I made was letting my manager see how positive I felt about leaving. If I had pretended to slink away with my tail between my legs I probably would have escaped unscathed. She wanted me out as quickly as possible once she knew I had seen through her. It upsets me to know she is being allowed to bully other people in her new role. Your attack dog is throwing her weight around without even being a manager - a reminder that bullying can happen upwards in hierarchies too. 

I think you've hit the nail on the head.  That's exactly it.  She loves being the centre of attention.  She'll rubbish an opinion she disagrees with.  Like my SIL.  If she disagrees with you on anything, she does it in a way that says, basically, that what you believe is wrong.  At work, she's 'admired' by many for her bluntness.  Bluntness?  She's rude and arrogant.  She's even shouted at senior managers.  And she always gets her way.  Always.  She gets the long holidays.  She gets to come in later than everyone else.  I think they're just afraid of upsetting her.

Not mine sadly just a stock photo for once I did not have my phone with me and they were so high I probably could not have captured them. The light of the moon just caught them and made them visible. 

I wonder if in some ways it's more a sort of tribalism?  From what you've said, it sounds as if she perceives herself as some sort of "alpha" and she has a sort of "pack", and others, such as management are kept away from interfering with the way she wants to run her pack by aggression, intimidation etc.

It sounds as if when you first joined she was trying to ascertain whether you would fit into her pack in a suitably sycophantic/submissive role.  When it became clear that wasn't likely to happen and that you couldn't be kept at arms length and suitably "not troublesome" by her usual tactics, and that in some ways you threatened her perceived social status, then she put you in "enemy" mode and decided since you were a threat you had to be "dealt with?"

Yeah.  It's basically sociopathic behaviour.  It's probably a mixture of wiring and conditioning.  Like the woman who was my uncle's 'carer'.  She ripped him off - and me, as I stood to inherit.  It's hard for me to understand how someone can behave like that, but there it is.

I guess the best you can say is that different people want different things...

If that's what floats her boat and all that.

That's a prize-winner, that photo.  It's stunning.

Exactly.  It's quite sad, really.

She'll see it as a victory because she's gotten rid of another person who she'd put in her targets.

I couldn't see them to begin with. I just heard this incredibly loud honking. Looked up and they they were - magical! 

Wow!  Synchronicity again!

Yes, remember that video, run quietly! You had your rainbow I have just seen a skein of geese flying north in the moonlight. Hope this is a sign of change to come in my life: "When you see Geese in flight, it is a precognitive omen or indication that something important is about to happen. Something new is coming in, and you should prepare for it." 

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Why is what so important?  Her 'victory'?  I've no idea why it's so important to her.  It just is.  Part of the way she is.  Narcs like to feel they've bested someone.  It's how they bolster their fragile egos and insecurities.  So she'll see it as some kind of victory, in that way.  I feel sorry for people like that, really.  I don't have any thoughts about trying to get my own back or anything daft like that.  I just want to move on.

I don't really mean victory, I suppose.  But, on past form, she's always done her best to get people to either leave or be fired if she doesn't like them.

To be honest, I don't really want to analyse it.  As far as I'm concerned, it's already history.

That's really good - sounds reasons for moving on, not just her. I can't bear working in places where things are run badly. Sadly it is often the case as good leadership so is rare.   

and then why it is so important? Particularly right now?

Define victory?

Yes.  When I look at it in the round, though, it's not just her.  I haven't ever been completely happy there - not since our manager was 'let go' in March.  The place is not well run, and just seems to stagger along.  Some of the other staff are lazy.  There's no real discipline.  It needs a good captain at the helm.  I used to find it very frustrating that important things kept being left undone, like proper cleaning and paperwork.  Too many phombies there, too.