My marriage is failing.

Hi folks, just having a moan and looking for a bit of support really.

Things are awful between me and my wife at the moment. We've been growing apart for years now. We just don't share the same interests any more. We can't communicate. We've had three different therapists offering us counselling without much improvement.

It feels like it's the end of the line for our marriage. Twenty five years we've been together. Two kids and a mortgage together. To feel it all slowly slipping away is excruciating. Every time there's a glimmer of hope something happens to mess it all up. It's like we can't get on the same page.

I've got my issues and both the kids are ASD too. I know it must be hard for her at times. I always feel like the one in the wrong but I know it's not all my fault. I know some of the issues I have with her are valid but I can't communicate well enough to put my viewpoint across. Whatever I say comes out wrong and just seems to make things worse. I'm awful at any kind of face to face confrontation.

Last weekend I got a bit drunk and I ended up self harming quite badly. We haven't spoke much since. I suppose things will get better but it feels hopeless at times like this. I wonder if I should move out sometimes.

Anyway, thanks for listening. 

Parents
  • Does your wife want things to work out going forward? Do you know?

    also, have you thought about writing things down re how you feel if verbal communication gets you muddled?

    best wishes

    Ellie

Reply
  • Does your wife want things to work out going forward? Do you know?

    also, have you thought about writing things down re how you feel if verbal communication gets you muddled?

    best wishes

    Ellie

Children
  • Yes we both want to make it work. It just feels like we're losing the battle at the moment.

    I write quite a lot, for myself as much as anything. It's good therapy and useful to look back on too. I did write a load of stuff down yesterday but it's all quite raw and emotional. Haven't shared any of it and not sure if I will. Maybe I'll re-draft it.

    Thanks