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My marriage is failing.

JoeChip
over 5 years ago

Hi folks, just having a moan and looking for a bit of support really.

Things are awful between me and my wife at the moment. We've been growing apart for years now. We just don't share the same interests any more. We can't communicate. We've had three different therapists offering us counselling without much improvement.

It feels like it's the end of the line for our marriage. Twenty five years we've been together. Two kids and a mortgage together. To feel it all slowly slipping away is excruciating. Every time there's a glimmer of hope something happens to mess it all up. It's like we can't get on the same page.

I've got my issues and both the kids are ASD too. I know it must be hard for her at times. I always feel like the one in the wrong but I know it's not all my fault. I know some of the issues I have with her are valid but I can't communicate well enough to put my viewpoint across. Whatever I say comes out wrong and just seems to make things worse. I'm awful at any kind of face to face confrontation.

Last weekend I got a bit drunk and I ended up self harming quite badly. We haven't spoke much since. I suppose things will get better but it feels hopeless at times like this. I wonder if I should move out sometimes.

Anyway, thanks for listening. 

Parents
  • over 5 years ago

    Hi - I feel for you - we've had lots of problems too.

    Do you know the source of all the stress - often it's not having any down-time to decompress from the hassle of life and usually, money worries.

    Do you know what you both want out of life? What is your ideal destination? What are you aiming towards?

    People can get so wrapped up with doing the rat-race and trying to beat the Joneses that they can't take a step back and re-evaluate the whole plan.

Reply
  • over 5 years ago

    Hi - I feel for you - we've had lots of problems too.

    Do you know the source of all the stress - often it's not having any down-time to decompress from the hassle of life and usually, money worries.

    Do you know what you both want out of life? What is your ideal destination? What are you aiming towards?

    People can get so wrapped up with doing the rat-race and trying to beat the Joneses that they can't take a step back and re-evaluate the whole plan.

Children
  • over 5 years ago in reply to Plastic

    Down time is a big issue. Its what set me off at the weekend actually. I work full time and my wife works at weekends. It feels like we've got no time for each other.

    I've no idea what we both want from life to be honest. It's not the type of thing we ever talk about together. We're both in our own little bubbles I think.