Published on 12, July, 2020
This is not me having a whinge. But does anyone on the forum had or have to deal with the expectation that as they are good at what they do they feel that there is a continued and increasing need to do and provide more and more to suit others.
I sometimes feel that I have just become a high functioning machine rather than human and that the challenging aspects of autism (where I am low functioning) are negated or ignored.
To me, high functioning means that although you're autistic, you can function and pass yourself of as a normal ( whatever normal means?????) person most of the time.
To many people autism is linked with low IQ, learning disabilities, epilepsy, downs syndrome, Cerebral Palsy , looking disabled, bizzare behaviour, and. .....
High functioning means you don't display these classic features.
I'm high functioning - very high IQ, very successful - but under certain conditions, I'm REALLY unable to function.
If I were to be measured in those situations, I would appear low functioning.
I'm the same. I wouldn't say I was successful (depending on the criteria), but I'm good at what I do. Very good. Many colleagues have told me I'm one of the best carers there, because I do the job properly. But in another situation, such as I was faced with on Thursday, I go to pieces and am a fumbling wreck. Anyone who looked at me now would see that, too. I'm a fumbling wreck. I'm shaking as I write this. Brought to my knees by what many would regard as trivial nonsense, and the product of a vivid imagination and a paranoia complex.