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Do you work?

Emma

I work in a office building. I'm one of three women and a man. My job is to answer the phone and use a computer, my day consists of me typing, speaking on the phone and engaging in conversation (help!) with my work colleagues. My friend April who works next to me is really nice and I think she knows there's something different about me because she seems to give me a sort of comforting smile a lot of the time. Work is hard, every day I spend ages making sure I look right for work and change my clothes and redo my hair about fifty times before I finally leave. When I get to work I spend the day feeling anxious because I know I'll have to engage in workplace communication, either work banter or one of my colleagues will ask me if I have a file or if someone called. This sends me in to a massive brain shutdown moment where I spend the next ten minutes trying to think and communicate at the same time, which results in me not finding the right words and just sort of babbling like a baby.

Working is difficult, mostly because of the amount of things I have to do. Focusing, communicating, being out of my safe zone and *shudders* office meetings where I sometimes have to stand up and talk to my colleagues as well as our boss... Usually after a meeting I end up throwing up in the bathroom and have a mini panic attack.

Does anyone else here work and have similar problems to me?

Parents

  • For years I had at least two part-time jobs, often three or four, working seven days a week. I have done everything ranging from working in an office as a secretary to working in a hotel doing breakfast service, to working in a callcentre.

    I was never able to do a 38 or 40 hour a week job. I had 40 hour jobs in six days, or 32 hour jobs spread out over 5 days. At the end of the day I'd be so tired I couldn't feel my legs. Not due to physical exhaustion but because even 7,5 hours a day really knocked me out.

    Before I fell ill (much like my body gave up on me) I was working 30 hours in a call centre and working as a freelance editor on the side - meaning seven days a week.

    I worked in at least three call centers. I'm really good at that kind of work, even though I loathe talking on the phone and it is terribly boring. But the schedules are flexible and no one ever complained about me wanting to work 12 to 20, so I had some free time in the morning, and calm myself down somewhat.

    I've been out of work for at least four years now. Because I have neglected the sogns my body gave off, I probably have permanent damage in the nerves in wrist and elbow. To be honest I don't really care.

    Overall, it is probably better to be working, but I couldn't anymore. Dealing with the benefits system is hell and really stresses me out.

  • in reply to Blank

    Yes, I deal with the DWP on my son's behalf and from my experience any dealings with them are quite likely to exacerbate any conditions you already have.  

    I agree with you about the hours worked too.  When I worked 40 hours/week it actually felt as though I'd worked a lot more and I was too exhausted to do much else.  Advice at the time actually included telling me to "get over myself"!

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  • in reply to Blank

    Yes, I deal with the DWP on my son's behalf and from my experience any dealings with them are quite likely to exacerbate any conditions you already have.  

    I agree with you about the hours worked too.  When I worked 40 hours/week it actually felt as though I'd worked a lot more and I was too exhausted to do much else.  Advice at the time actually included telling me to "get over myself"!

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