Do you work?

I work in a office building. I'm one of three women and a man. My job is to answer the phone and use a computer, my day consists of me typing, speaking on the phone and engaging in conversation (help!) with my work colleagues. My friend April who works next to me is really nice and I think she knows there's something different about me because she seems to give me a sort of comforting smile a lot of the time. Work is hard, every day I spend ages making sure I look right for work and change my clothes and redo my hair about fifty times before I finally leave. When I get to work I spend the day feeling anxious because I know I'll have to engage in workplace communication, either work banter or one of my colleagues will ask me if I have a file or if someone called. This sends me in to a massive brain shutdown moment where I spend the next ten minutes trying to think and communicate at the same time, which results in me not finding the right words and just sort of babbling like a baby.

Working is difficult, mostly because of the amount of things I have to do. Focusing, communicating, being out of my safe zone and *shudders* office meetings where I sometimes have to stand up and talk to my colleagues as well as our boss... Usually after a meeting I end up throwing up in the bathroom and have a mini panic attack.

Does anyone else here work and have similar problems to me?

Parents
  • I went from menial roles (bank admin, call centre, retail work) to doing a phd in biochemistry. The phd stipend is quite good and I can live comfortably, but once that is through I have no idea if I will get / be able to maintain a proper 'job'... so I might just go back to menial work, or start some kind of small business...

  • Maybe you will be able to? : o ) I found working as a research scientist great. Probably because i could spend large amounts of time shut up in small rooms with just microscopes for company! It wasnt that different to being a phd student to be honest.  Wish i was still doing it... apart from the short term contracts which weren't ideal!

Reply
  • Maybe you will be able to? : o ) I found working as a research scientist great. Probably because i could spend large amounts of time shut up in small rooms with just microscopes for company! It wasnt that different to being a phd student to be honest.  Wish i was still doing it... apart from the short term contracts which weren't ideal!

Children
  • I'll have to see how this phd goes. I've been finding it very hard so far, but mostly because I've been in a state of autistic burnout without realising it (only diagnosed a couple of months ago). If only I knew before I started. I also have a hard time following instructions so often lab work gets messed up. Even though I like it.